Have you ever felt disconnected from yourself after a season of change? Have you ever come through a difficult time and afterward had a challenge connecting with yourself? I have. Here’s what I’ve learned.

Hold space for yourself in all seasons

As I wrote in my book After Trauma, “Some seasons are for overcoming and some seasons are for becoming.” In particularly difficult seasons, sometimes it’s all we can do just to get through it. In those instances it makes sense to have an instinct to make our world small, take everything unnecessary off of our plate, and simply endure whatever the hardship is. Those seasons are for rest, for letting go of expectations, and for going easy on ourselves. In these moments we can gently hold space for ourselves as we move through the challenge, knowing that it won’t last forever.

Choose curiosity over fear during change.

We are built to evolve with change. All of life, if we’ll allow ourselves the freedom, is one big evolution of self. Instead of grasping for who we were and feeling the frustration that comes with this, allow some curiosity to take hold. “What can I learn about this evolved version of myself? How can I get to know myself better? What would help me feel connected to myself?” For me, the key to reconnection is always through some sort of creative expression. My favorite way to express myself is through some kind of writing.

Allow new versions of yourself to come to light

Difficult seasons of life happen to everyone. It’s only natural that as we endure adversity and come out the other side, the lessons we learned while in the challenge change us. Maybe we have a new perspective on life. Perhaps we have a greater appreciation for the little goodnesses that exist in our life that we sometimes take for granted. Maybe we decide that in the absence of the difficult season, we want to find a way to carve out a bit more time ourselves in the day. Or perhaps we decide that we want to rid ourselves of toxic people or toxic behaviors that are not serving us. Whatever the evolution is, embrace it. Life is one long journey of coming home to ourselves. It’s never too late to get to know yourself better and to find new ways to be grounded in your body and in your mind.