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The practice of sexual choking has become more prevalent in recent years, especially among young adults.

Sexual choking is a type of kink in which an individual finds arousal in the cutting off of the blood flow to the brain or breath of another, either by using hands, limbs, or objects (such as belts or ropes). Some even prefer to be choked by their own hair, if their hair is of sufficient length.

The severity of choking can span the range of light pressure applied to the neck to extreme pressure that leaves bruising. When one finds sexual arousal and, subsequently, gratification by choking, this is called autoerotic asphyxiation.

Sexual choking goes by other names, such as breath play, and often finds a home in bondage, discipline (or domination), sadism, and masochism (BDSM) environments. Why do some people have a sexual predilection for choking—either being choked or choking others—and what are some of the characteristics associated with choking as a form of kink?

A Word of Caution

Before I proceed, I need to address the danger behind breath play and sexual choking. People do die engaging in sexual choking, even well-seasoned practitioners who are educated in the ways of choking and breathe play. Anytime you are cutting off one’s breathing or the oxygen-rich blood flow to the brain, you run the risk of harming yourself or another person. Some professional BDSM spaces have banned the activity as, by their claims, they are committed to putting the well-being of their visitors at the forefront (not to mention liability issues).

In cases of autoerotic asphyxiation, there may be no one to come to your aid if something goes wrong. Noted celebrities, such as Michael Hutchence of the band INXS and the actor David Carradine, have famously passed away from these autoerotic practices. Furthermore, sexual choking can lead to health issues that are not immediately observable, such as chronic headaches, depression, and anxiety (Herbenick, Fu, Eastman-Mueller, et al., 2022).

A study by Herbenick, Fu, Kawata, et al. (2022), found a significant association between having ever been choked and depression, sadness, anxiety, and loneliness (with the exception of overwhelming anxiety among men), especially when participants experience being choked more than five times.

Characteristics of Sexual Choking

And yet, despite the risk of harm, sexual choking grows in popularity. Pornhub clips are replete with choking videos, even having brief choking included in some otherwise vanilla sexual clips. In terms of frequency of practice, Herbenick, Fu, Eastman-Mueller, et al. (2022) note that 1 in 3 college women report having been choked in recent sexual activity.

In a study involving a survey of 4,254 students (62.9 percent undergraduate, 37.1 percent graduate), the researchers found, for chokers, a mean age of 19.3 years for first choking experience (with women reporting being older at first experience choking a partner), a mean number of people choked at 2.8, with the hands being the most enacted method of choking.

Those being choked, had a mean age of 19.2 (with men reporting an older age at first experience being choked), a mean number of 2.9 partners choking them, and, again, that the hands were the most frequent choking method. In the claims of having been choked during sex, 92.1 percent reported that the choking was consensual.

The Allure of Sexual Choking

Some of the commonly reported reasons people provide for why they are interested in or aroused by sexual choking (as choker or choked) include:

• There can be arousal associated with a power dynamic, and the transferring of power, involved in sexual choking.
• Some claim there is a desirable feeling of euphoria produced when there is a rush of oxygen-rich blood to the brain after the brain had been deprived of oxygen during the choking event.
• Sexual choking satisfies risk-taking impulses.
• Some claim the behavior intensifies orgasm.
• There is always the element of wanting to broaden one’s sexual repertoire and experiment.
• Some partners like to incorporate it as part of murder/necro play, wherein the killing of the partner and/or sex with a corpse is simulated to satisfy desire.

There is nothing wrong with you if you have a desire for and enjoyment of sexual choking. However, before you engage in it, or any other risky sexual behavior, you must become educated on the practice. And note that there is no truly safe way to engage in sexual choking. As always, if you are engaging in any sexual behavior, risky or not, consent is everything. As someone may not be able to verbalize a safeword during a sexual choking event, be sure to have a physical cue agreed upon that will stop the action if the person being choked needs to stop for any reason. Finally, aftercare is important when practicing sexual choking.

Disclaimer: Sexual choking can be a very dangerous sexual act, which can include permanent physical and psychological damage and death. The author and this site is not responsible for any harm that comes from someone pursuing these acts.