From Pygmalion to Possibility

Source: Lindsey Godwin/Dall-E/Used with permission

“You are the kind of student who was successful in high school, but I don’t think you’ll be successful in college.”

Those were the words that hit me like a brick wall during my freshman year, delivered by a professor who, if I’m being honest, seemed more interested in tearing me down than offering any real guidance. I can still see the way he leaned back in his chair, eyebrows slightly raised, arms crossed as if he were bracing himself for my inevitable downfall. I was stunned. As a straight-A high-school valedictorian who had even been voted “most likely to succeed,” this was a deviation from every affirmation I’d ever received. It wasn’t just a hit to my confidence—it was a full-on assault. Had I peaked too soon? Had I somehow tricked everyone into thinking I was smart? 

For a few weeks, that one sentence replayed in my head. I had been placed in a box—one labeled “not cut out for this,” a box defined by someone else’s perception of my capabilities. But here’s what I eventually realized: The only thing that was about to hold me back in college wasn’t a lack of skill or knowledge. It was someone else’s low expectations.

The Science Behind the “Self-Fulfilling Prophecy”

To unpack what happened in that classroom, we have to look at the two sides of the Self-Fulfiling Prophecy. First: the Pygmalion Effect. Named after the Greek mythological figure Pygmalion, who sculpted a statue that came to life because he believed in its beauty, the Pygmalion Effect in psychology refers to the phenomenon where higher expectations lead to improved performance. It’s not just wishful thinking—research backs it up.

In a classic study from 1968, psychologists Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson demonstrated the power of expectations in a school setting. They randomly selected students and told their teachers that these particular kids were “intellectual bloomers,” suggesting that they would show rapid academic progress over the next year. In reality, these students were no different than their peers. But something astonishing happened: By the end of the year, those “intellectual bloomers” showed significantly greater academic improvement compared to their classmates.

Why? Because the teachers, believing these students were destined for success, started treating them differently—giving them more attention, offering more encouragement, and setting higher expectations. The students, in turn, rose to meet those expectations, proving that belief can shape reality.

The Other Side of the Coin: The Golem Effect

Unfortunately, the opposite is also true. When people expect you to fail—or just not succeed as much as others—you’re more likely to meet those low expectations. This phenomenon is known as the Golem Effect, and it can be just as powerful and destructive as its positive counterpart. The words of that professor were a perfect setup for this effect. Had I internalized his doubts, I might have second-guessed myself every time I faced a challenging assignment, confirming his low expectations without even realizing it.

Think about it: How often do we unconsciously place these low expectations on our students, colleagues, friends, or even family members? Statements like, “You’re just not a math person,” or “I wouldn’t push for that promotion—it’s a stretch for you,” can lock people into self-limiting beliefs, creating self-fulfilling prophecies that diminish potential.

Using the Pygmalion Effect for Good: 3 Ways to Set People Up for Success (Including Yourself)

The good news is that we don’t have to wait for a teacher, boss, or family member to show up with high expectations for us. We can create this dynamic in our own lives and the lives of those around us. Here’s how:

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1. Raise the Bar—and Let People (and Yourself) Know You Believe in Their Potential

One of the key findings from the Pygmalion studies is that simply having high expectations isn't enough—people need to feel the belief behind those expectations. Whether you're leading a team, mentoring someone, or working with a colleague, the best gift you can offer is your confidence in their ability to rise to the challenge. Say it out loud: “I know this is difficult, but I believe you can do it.” Those words can ignite a spark in someone who might otherwise hesitate. And remember, this applies to you as well. Positive self-talk—telling yourself, “I can do this”—is a powerful way to set your own expectations and push yourself to meet them.

2. Give—and Ask for—High-Quality Feedback

High expectations without support can backfire. People need constructive feedback, guidance, and resources to grow into the potential you see in them. This means offering more than just vague encouragement like, “You’ve got this!” Be specific: “I noticed you were struggling with the last part of the presentation, but I also saw how quickly you picked up on the new data. What if we focused on refining your speaking points?” This type of feedback sends the message: “I see where you are now, but I know you can get even better.”

At the same time, ask for feedback that will help you grow. Don’t settle for general praise like “Great job!” Instead, seek actionable insights: “What do you think I could improve in my presentation delivery?” By both giving and requesting detailed feedback, you create a culture of continuous improvement and mutual support.

3. Celebrate Incremental Wins—Success Builds on Success

Belief can be contagious, but only if people experience their own progress. When Rosenthal and Jacobson labeled certain students as “intellectual bloomers,” the teachers began to subtly reward small successes more frequently. Each win, no matter how small, was a signal that the student was on the right track. According to the progress principle (Amabile & Kramer, 2011), making consistent, small gains boosts motivation and engagement, creating a positive cycle where progress fuels even more progress. Create opportunities for small victories in your own life and in those you influence. Success is often a series of small steps rather than one giant leap.

Crafting My Own Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

So, what happened with that freshman-year professor? No, he wasn’t using reverse psychology—he genuinely didn’t think I could succeed. I could have easily fallen into the Golem Effect, where low expectations lead to poor performance. But instead of letting his doubts define me, I decided to create my own self-fulfilling prophecy. My belief in myself, along with my past academic successes, fueled my determination. I spent the rest of the semester proving him wrong—immersing myself in the material, seeking extra resources, and pushing beyond the limits he had set for me. By the end, I earned a B in his class—my only B in a college career full of A’s. It wasn’t a perfect victory, but it was a meaningful one, given his low expectations. Looking back, I realize my success wasn’t just about grit—it was about shifting my mindset and choosing to believe in my potential, no matter what he thought.

The Pygmalion Effect doesn’t require fairy-tale magic or a sculptor’s chisel. It’s something we can all wield, whether we’re leading a team, raising a family, or just talking to ourselves in the mirror each morning. Because if belief can bring a stone statue to life, imagine what it can do for the people in your life—and for your own sense of what’s possible.

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