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You have probably experienced the symptoms of anxiety at some point in your daily life. The racing heart, dry mouth, maybe a booming voice inside your head. Or perhaps a quieter, more insidious thought that keeps you from deep sleep. These symptoms usually become most apparent when facing an important decision, some kind of test, or waiting for results.

Anxiety is a perfectly natural emotional response that is designed to alert us to potential danger ahead, and when it’s used as a tool for discernment or preparation, it can be very helpful. For example, many musicians, actors, and speakers use their panicky sensations before going onstage as a warm-up for their “performance state.”

Think of anxiety like a satellite navigation device that lets you know when there might be congestion ahead or like traffic signs that flash, prompting you to slow down. Continuing with the driving analogy for just a moment, problems only arise when this natural alert function is allowed to jump across from the passenger seat and take the wheel, becoming a full-blown anxiety disorder.

Disorders such as social anxiety have increased significantly within adolescent populations in recent years due to the rapid advancement of technology, social isolation during the COVID-19 pandemic, increased academic expectations, and inadequate resources for coping. One study* of young Facebook users found six contributing factors: fear of being judged, negotiation between self and social identity, escalation of interpersonal problems, desire for privacy, actively seeking approval, and connection or disconnection.

That last point is particularly interesting when you consider what’s really at the root of our anxiety—our ability to connect and disconnect. In his book** Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers, Stanford neurologist Dr. Robert Sapolsky explores the difference between the “real stressors” in life, which wild animals encounter, and the “psychological stressors” that affect humans. He claims that zebras only deal with episodic stress, for example, when escaping a lion, and quickly return to a state of equilibrium when that danger has subsided. Our prehistoric stress response system was only designed to cope with short bursts of intensity and doesn’t function well when exposed to sustained stress.

Much of our ability to deal with anxiety rests on how we connect and disconnect. Overthinking can cause us to amplify the perceived threat. Imagine, for example, being woken by a noise in the dead of night. An incident as innocuous as your cat knocking something over in the kitchen could easily escalate into a full-scale imaginary burglary by the time you’ve crept downstairs to investigate. In most situations, the faster we are able to disconnect from the mind-movie we’re running, the quicker we can return to a balanced state.

Disconnection can also play a negative role in this scenario. Envisaging an enemy such as a burglar causes us to lose our fundamental connection to our sense of inner safety and to each other. When one part of our personality disconnects from the wholeness of who we actually are, the thought that we are separate or alone creates insecurity. Only when we drop back from the mind and into the heart is it possible to reconnect with our security.

My early career as a paramedic and, latterly, a pediatrician taught me many techniques for dealing with anxiety and overwhelm. Today, when we deliver heart-based training to healthcare professionals, this fundamental principle of serving our patients from the connected space of our hearts alleviates a lot of suffering simply because it reminds us we’re all interdependent.

Whenever you are experiencing anxiety, create safety by dropping your focus into the safety of your heart. For a few minutes, breathe in steadily for 5 or 6 seconds and out for the same length of time, imagining your breath flowing through your heart. Then ask yourself these questions:

1. What am I worrying about? And how anxious am I?

Getting very specific about whatever is causing you to feel anxious helps the mind to settle. It’s best to deal with one perceived threat at a time and really investigate how “charged” the emotions are around it. For example, by assessing your anxiety on a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is calm, and 10 is panic, you can decide whether to investigate further. If it’s a 4 or higher, ask yourself the next question.

2. What is my story about that?

Our inner commentary or movie runs unchecked most of the time. Investigating what story you are telling yourself can help you shift the narrative to something more supportive. At this point, just notice the story you’re running without trying to change it.

3. Is this threat real or imagined?

Most of the imaginary scenarios we create in our minds never actually happen. Recognizing that we might be amplifying its potential impact causes our brains to de-escalate the threat.

4. If it’s real, what can I do about it?

Some threats are real and require action. Making a realistic plan, getting support from others, and chunking down what can seem overwhelming can help you manage the threat.

5. If it’s imagined, how can I neutralize the effects it’s having on my body?

An upsurge in adrenaline and cortisol can cause jangled feelings, foggy thinking, an elevated heart rate, and an increase in blood pressure. A useful NLP technique suggests you imagine stopping your mind-movie, concentrate on a neutral image for a minute, and then rerun the movie at half the speed. You can also adjust the volume, mute the colors, speed up the action, or add silly voices. Pushing your imaginary screen away from you also reduces the intensity.

Asking questions while you are centered in your heart makes a big difference to your physical state, and by now, you should be feeling considerably calmer. Courage often comes after facing fear and integrating it, so an extra bonus here could be an uplift in your self-image. Finally, re-assess your emotional charge on a scale of 1 to 10 and repeat the exercise if necessary.