Insecurity can show up in some of the strangest ways.

In fact, some of the most insecure people try their hardest to masquerade as confident. But their behaviors always give them away.

Here are 15 things insecure people do that confident people don’t.

1) Falling into people-pleasing habits to gain approval

Confident people know that their best source of love, respect, and approval comes from within.

They’ve built up their self-esteem so that they always have constant access to this.

Insecure people on the other hand always feel lacking.

What they cannot find within themselves, they go desperately searching for outside of themselves.

That can quickly become a recipe for people-pleasing behaviors.

Insecure people will often find it difficult to say no to others. They will go along with things they don’t want because they are too afraid to rock the boat.

Because of this desire to be liked all the time, they may find it hard to show up as their real self.

2) Hiding who they really are out of fear the real them isn’t good enough

The more confident you are, the easier you find authenticity.

Because showing up with sincerity takes vulnerability. It asks you to proudly say: ‘This is me, warts and all’.

And having the guts to do that demands that we like who we are, even though none of us are perfect.

Sadly, insecure people always worry that who they are may not be good enough. They focus on their perceived flaws and overlook their strengths.

It prompts them to wear a mask to try to hide the real them. They find it harder to drop pretenses and reveal the real person beneath.

As we’ll see next, one of these masks can lead to showing off.

3) Bragging and boasting to try to impress

We’ve probably all been guilty of the #humblebrag on the odd occasion (or is that just me?!).

But this cringeworthy behavior is always really a sign of insecurity.

Gloating is all about trying to prove to someone you are worthy. The more confident you are, the less you feel the need to do this.

You know you are already “somebody”, you don’t feel like you have to convince anyone of this by highlighting all you have going for you.

In fact, most shows of true confidence are extremely subtle, in contrast to displays of insecurity which can be deafening…

4) Being overly loud and attention seeking

This one can come as a surprise.

After all, we might assume you need to be confident to dare to stand out in a crowd.

At first glance, loud people may seem vivacious and unafraid to make their presence known.

But often, the loudest person in the room is also one of the most insecure.

It all comes back to that need for approval and attention in order to feel good about themselves.

Unfortunately, it can mean there is very little room for anyone else in the relationship, as it’s always all about them.

5) Hogging the conversation and making everything all about them

Confident people do not feel the need to be in the limelight 24-7.

Because as we said earlier, their sense of self-worth comes from inside, rather than external validation.

But insecure people are more likely to be the “me, me, me” types.

If every conversation you have with someone is always centered around their lives and their problems — it points to insecurity.

Their favorite topic of conversation seems to be themselves because this is what occupies most of their thoughts.

Confident people have far more emotional and mental capacity to focus on others.

6) Being judgemental and quick to make assumptions

How we treat ourselves is often how we end up treating others.

Think about it:

When we are quick to judge others unkindly, we often show ourselves that same harsh scrutiny.

Confident people are better at cutting other people some slack because they are better at showing themselves that same grace.

They don’t critically dissect every single thing about themselves. And so neither do they feel a need to view other people with the same unrealistic standards.

It takes deep confidence to accept that we’re all just human and doing the best we can.

7) Putting others down and bitching behind people’s backs

Just like the school bully in the playground, those who are mean to other people are usually themselves insecure.

By making other people wrong, they can feel right. This sense of superiority inflates their delicate ego.

As does the next thing on our list…

8) Acting like they know-it-all

If someone is pretending like they are some sort of oracle, don’t be so quick to assume they are brimming with confidence.

Nobody knows it all. We all have strengths and weaknesses. And it takes a really confident person to see their own weaknesses and own up to them.

Of course, when you know it all, you’re never wrong!

9) An inability to say sorry or back down when they’re wrong

Nobody likes being wrong. Saying sorry can quite quickly stick in the throat.

There’s no doubt it takes guts and a whole load of self-awareness and accountability to admit when it’s your bad.

But that is exactly why it’s such a sign of confidence. Only a healthy and well-rounded ego can take the dent.

Insecure people on the other hand take it too much to heart. Their low self-esteem means their fragile ego cannot handle the knock.

10) Behaving like a victim and blaming others

When someone is confident they are the Captain of their ship. They take charge and steer themselves in the direction they want to go.

Insecure people on the other hand don’t feel like the master of their own destiny.

So they remain the victim. Rather than roll up their sleeves and get to work they would rather look for excuses.

No matter what, it’s always the fault of someone or something else. They can’t catch a break, and they are at the mercy of other people’s behaviors.

No wonder they also struggle to ride out the ups and downs that life throws their way.

11) Quickly crumbling when things go wrong

Confident people have built up resilience.

In fact, the two often go hand in hand. Through weathering many storms in life, confident people strengthen their resolve.

It is only through surviving life’s trials and tribulations that we can learn how to adapt.

Insecure people may lack this internal toughness that allows them to quickly spring back when things go wrong.

Rather than dust themselves off, they find it much harder to get back on their feet.

As a consequence, they often prefer to play it safe as much as possible.

12) Trying to avoid taking any risks

The big wide world can be a scary place.

It’s not that confident people aren’t aware of this. They’re not immune to life any more than insecure people.

But they do realize that it’s true what George Addair once famously said:

“Everything you’ve ever wanted is sitting on the other side of fear.”

In order to grow and seek out opportunities we are called to take some calculated risks in life.

That doesn’t mean being reckless, but it does mean leaving our comfort zone. And insecure people really struggle to do that.

13) Being a control freak

When you try to make your world as safe as possible, your grip starts to tighten.

That’s why rather than go with the flow, insecure people can feel a desperate need to try to control everything and everyone in their lives.

They feel too afraid to hand over the reins or trust others.

But this need for control can have a stifling impact on those around them.

14) Grasping onto people and things too tightly

Needy and clinging behavior is one of the most classic symptoms of insecurity.

It’s driven by a deep fear of loss.

The absence of calming internal confidence means that insecure people can:

• Feel scared of being alone
• Have abandonment issues
• Become reliant on others to feed their self-esteem with praise
• Always want to keep tabs on people

These same insecurities and cravings for validation can also lead to other toxic traits like the last on our list…

15) Jealousy and envy

Confident people are the best cheerleaders because they know there is enough success to go around for everyone.

Someone else’s wins don’t feel threatening to them. They don’t see themselves as in direct competition because they know you can never compare yourself to someone else.

Insecure people have a lack mindset rather than an abundant one.

If someone else has something good, it makes them feel less. It highlights to them all the things they feel is missing in their own life.

They may secretly feel good when things are going wrong for someone else.

To conclude: We can all be insecure at times

The truth is that a certain amount of insecurity is normal. We are all bound to experience it from time to time.

Perhaps it pops up when we are facing a new and unfamiliar situation. Or maybe it’s when we’re suddenly scared of losing something we really value or want.

But the good news is that confidence isn’t innate, it’s something we develop. It’s a muscle that we flex, and it can be strengthened.