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  • Homeopathy Treatment for Autism— A Natural Approach

    Autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects communication, behavior, and social skills. It is a spectrum disorder, which can range from mild to severe and present differently in each individual. It is typically diagnosed in early childhood and is more common in boys than girls. There is no known cure for autism, but homeopathy can significantly improve outcomes for individuals with the condition.

    The homeopathic approach to handling chronic disorders, being totalistic and aiming at treating genetic tendencies with strategic management, offers effective treatment for autism and related disorders. Dr. Vikas Singhal is a reputed homeopathic doctor who provides autism treatment with homeopathy medicines. He has been treating various acute, chronic, rare, & autoimmune diseases across India for over 20 years. He uses individualized Homeopathic Medicine for Autism for each case according to severity. For further queries about homeopathy for Autism, call or WhatsApp at +91 8264408264.

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    Homeopathy Treatment for Autism— A Natural Approach Autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects communication, behavior, and social skills. It is a spectrum disorder, which can range from mild to severe and present differently in each individual. It is typically diagnosed in early childhood and is more common in boys than girls. There is no known cure for autism, but homeopathy can significantly improve outcomes for individuals with the condition. The homeopathic approach to handling chronic disorders, being totalistic and aiming at treating genetic tendencies with strategic management, offers effective treatment for autism and related disorders. Dr. Vikas Singhal is a reputed homeopathic doctor who provides autism treatment with homeopathy medicines. He has been treating various acute, chronic, rare, & autoimmune diseases across India for over 20 years. He uses individualized Homeopathic Medicine for Autism for each case according to severity. For further queries about homeopathy for Autism, call or WhatsApp at +91 8264408264. Visit us: https://homeodoctor.co.in/best-homeopathic-doctor-treatment-for-autism-in-india/ #autismtreatmentinhomeopathy #HomeopathicMedicineforAutism #homeopathyforAutism #HomeopathyTreatmentForAutism
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  • Get the Best Homeopathic Medicine for Acne and Pimples

    The most common cause of acne or pimples is increased androgens in teens and youth during puberty. Androgens are male hormones that are present in both boys as well as girls. Increased levels of these hormones result in increased sebum (oil) production, resulting in infection or clogging of the skin, causing acne. In the field of Classical Homeopathy, Dr. Vikas Singhal is among the most prominent advocates. Every case receives the same level of dedication from him. Moreover, his expertise in treating auto-immune diseases and rare disorders has made him well-known across India and abroad. Dr. Vikas prescribes individualized Homeopathic medicine for acne, pimple & acne scars. For over 20 years, he has been practicing Homeopathy in his clinic at Dr. Singhal Homeo in Chandigarh. For further queries about homeopathic acne treatment, reach us at +91 8264408264 to make an appointment. Visit us: https://homeodoctor.co.in/best-homeopathic-treatment-medicine-for-acne-and-pimples-in-india/

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    Get the Best Homeopathic Medicine for Acne and Pimples The most common cause of acne or pimples is increased androgens in teens and youth during puberty. Androgens are male hormones that are present in both boys as well as girls. Increased levels of these hormones result in increased sebum (oil) production, resulting in infection or clogging of the skin, causing acne. In the field of Classical Homeopathy, Dr. Vikas Singhal is among the most prominent advocates. Every case receives the same level of dedication from him. Moreover, his expertise in treating auto-immune diseases and rare disorders has made him well-known across India and abroad. Dr. Vikas prescribes individualized Homeopathic medicine for acne, pimple & acne scars. For over 20 years, he has been practicing Homeopathy in his clinic at Dr. Singhal Homeo in Chandigarh. For further queries about homeopathic acne treatment, reach us at +91 8264408264 to make an appointment. Visit us: https://homeodoctor.co.in/best-homeopathic-treatment-medicine-for-acne-and-pimples-in-india/ #homeopathicmedicineforpimples #homeopathicmedicineforacnescars #homeopathicacnetreatment #homeopathicmedicineforacneandpimples
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  • TRANSGENDER-
    What Is Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria?
    When teens seek to transition.
    Reviewed by Vanessa Lancaster

    KEY POINTS-
    Gender dysphoria occurs when a person's biological sex doesn’t match their perceived gender identity.
    In the last two decades, there has been a significant rise in gender dysphoria in adolescents.
    The rise in gender dysphoria in teens could be due to better detection, but some researchers suspect social contagion instead.
    Although various names have referred to it, the phenomenon of gender dysphoria has been well-studied for over a century. Gender dysphoria occurs when a person's biological sex doesn’t match their perceived gender identity. The scientific consensus is that this likely occurs due to anomalies in fetal development that lead persons to experience preferences for social roles and personal identity that are more typical of the opposite sex.

    Early- and Late-Onset Gender Dysphoria
    Traditionally, two forms of gender dysphoria have been recognized. The first is early-onset gender dysphoria, which appears in early childhood. For instance, a boy may prefer the company of girls and the play activities typical of that gender. Likewise, a girl may prefer hanging out with the boys and doing boyish things.

    Such children are often teased as “sissies” and “tomboys,” but they typically maintain their transgender identity into adulthood. Many of them cross-dress or seek gender-affirming surgery and live their adult lives as members of the opposite sex.

    The second form of gender dysphoria is known as late-onset gender dysphoria because it first appears in early to mid-adulthood. Furthermore, persons who experience late-onset gender dysphoria are almost exclusively male. This may simply involve experiencing sexual arousal through dressing and acting as a woman, but it can also lead to surgery and living as a female.

    Rapid-Onset Gender Dysphoria
    However, as American sexuality researchers Suzanna Diaz and J. Michael Bailey pointed out in an article recently published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, the last two decades have seen the rise of a third type of gender dysphoria.

    This type occurs in adolescents, and those who experience it are overwhelmingly female. These teens showed no signs of gender dysphoria before puberty but reported a fairly sudden shift in gender identity, so the condition has been dubbed rapid-onset gender dysphoria.

    The fact that there has been a recent surge in gender dysphoria in adolescents, especially females, is uncontroversial since these cases are clearly documented. However, explaining what causes rapid-onset gender dysphoria is the subject of a heated debate.

    Some researchers maintain that there has been no real increase in gender dysphoria in youth. Rather, it’s just that the condition is better diagnosed and documented now than it was in the past.

    Through analogy, they pointed to the supposed “autism epidemic.” While it’s true that the recorded cases of autism have increased considerably over the past few decades, we also understand that this has happened because doctors now have a better understanding of the nature of autism and how to detect it.

    However, proponents of the “better detection” hypothesis have difficulty explaining why there hasn’t been a similar increase in reports of early- and late-onset gender dysphoria. They also can’t explain why we’ve been regularly diagnosing and documenting cases of gender dysphoria in childhood and adulthood for at least half a century now but not cases occurring in adolescence.

    The Social Contagion Hypothesis
    Other researchers argue that rapid-onset gender dysphoria is a form of social contagion. Such an assertion flies in the face of overwhelming evidence that gender dysphoria is biological. However, proponents of the “social contagion” hypothesis contend that this condition is really a misdiagnosis of gender dysphoria and that its real cause lies elsewhere.

    Two lines of evidence support the “social contagion” hypothesis. The first comes from reports of parents whose children transitioned as teens. While many parents support their children’s desire to transition, others are hesitant to do so. It could be that these parents are transphobic, but research shows this is not the case.

    Rapid-onset gender dysphoria often occurs in adolescents growing up in well-educated, reasonably affluent families with fairly liberal social values. These parents aren’t anti-trans. It’s just that they don’t think gender dysphoria is the right diagnosis for their child.

    According to parental reports, these teens were already experiencing mental health issues, and it wasn’t until after they started interacting with trans groups on social media that they began to attribute their psychological problems to gender dysphoria. Furthermore, their online friends convinced them that the only way to overcome their feelings of depression and anxiety was to transition.

    It could very well be the case that gender dysphoria is the root of the mental health issues these teens are experiencing. After all, it can take time to diagnose some psychological disorders properly. For instance, bipolar disorder can easily be misidentified as depression at first. However, in the case of rapid-onset gender dysphoria, patients may get diagnoses from untrained amateurs with a political agenda rather than trained professionals with expertise in the field.

    The second line of evidence for the “social contagion” hypothesis is the observation that a fairly high proportion of teens who transition seek to de-transition a few years later. They decide for themselves that their psychological issues weren’t really due to gender dysphoria. Or, at least, they find that transitioning hasn’t resolved those issues.

    Political Arguments vs. Scientific Evidence
    As Diaz and Bailey pointed out in their article, research on rapid-onset gender dysphoria has been hampered by political activism. The lay public and healthcare professionals are split in their support for the “better detection” and “social contagion” hypotheses. Those who believe we’re just getting better at detecting gender dysphoria in adolescence generally advocate for rapid transition, while those who believe that rapid-onset gender dysphoria likely has a social origin urge for a wait-and-see approach.

    At this point, we just don’t know which hypothesis is correct. If transitioning will help these teens regain their mental health, we should definitely pursue this course of action. However, if many of these adolescents will eventually de-transition, early transitioning may be a treatment that causes more harm than good.

    We need a dispassionate approach that examines the full range of evidence without bias. This includes comparisons of trans adults who choose to de-transition with those who don’t and studies of those who transition early versus those who transition later. We also need to consider parents' reports, both those who supported their teen’s transition and those who didn’t. Only in this way can we understand the true nature of rapid-onset gender dysphoria and the best way to treat it.
    TRANSGENDER- What Is Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria? When teens seek to transition. Reviewed by Vanessa Lancaster KEY POINTS- Gender dysphoria occurs when a person's biological sex doesn’t match their perceived gender identity. In the last two decades, there has been a significant rise in gender dysphoria in adolescents. The rise in gender dysphoria in teens could be due to better detection, but some researchers suspect social contagion instead. Although various names have referred to it, the phenomenon of gender dysphoria has been well-studied for over a century. Gender dysphoria occurs when a person's biological sex doesn’t match their perceived gender identity. The scientific consensus is that this likely occurs due to anomalies in fetal development that lead persons to experience preferences for social roles and personal identity that are more typical of the opposite sex. Early- and Late-Onset Gender Dysphoria Traditionally, two forms of gender dysphoria have been recognized. The first is early-onset gender dysphoria, which appears in early childhood. For instance, a boy may prefer the company of girls and the play activities typical of that gender. Likewise, a girl may prefer hanging out with the boys and doing boyish things. Such children are often teased as “sissies” and “tomboys,” but they typically maintain their transgender identity into adulthood. Many of them cross-dress or seek gender-affirming surgery and live their adult lives as members of the opposite sex. The second form of gender dysphoria is known as late-onset gender dysphoria because it first appears in early to mid-adulthood. Furthermore, persons who experience late-onset gender dysphoria are almost exclusively male. This may simply involve experiencing sexual arousal through dressing and acting as a woman, but it can also lead to surgery and living as a female. Rapid-Onset Gender Dysphoria However, as American sexuality researchers Suzanna Diaz and J. Michael Bailey pointed out in an article recently published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, the last two decades have seen the rise of a third type of gender dysphoria. This type occurs in adolescents, and those who experience it are overwhelmingly female. These teens showed no signs of gender dysphoria before puberty but reported a fairly sudden shift in gender identity, so the condition has been dubbed rapid-onset gender dysphoria. The fact that there has been a recent surge in gender dysphoria in adolescents, especially females, is uncontroversial since these cases are clearly documented. However, explaining what causes rapid-onset gender dysphoria is the subject of a heated debate. Some researchers maintain that there has been no real increase in gender dysphoria in youth. Rather, it’s just that the condition is better diagnosed and documented now than it was in the past. Through analogy, they pointed to the supposed “autism epidemic.” While it’s true that the recorded cases of autism have increased considerably over the past few decades, we also understand that this has happened because doctors now have a better understanding of the nature of autism and how to detect it. However, proponents of the “better detection” hypothesis have difficulty explaining why there hasn’t been a similar increase in reports of early- and late-onset gender dysphoria. They also can’t explain why we’ve been regularly diagnosing and documenting cases of gender dysphoria in childhood and adulthood for at least half a century now but not cases occurring in adolescence. The Social Contagion Hypothesis Other researchers argue that rapid-onset gender dysphoria is a form of social contagion. Such an assertion flies in the face of overwhelming evidence that gender dysphoria is biological. However, proponents of the “social contagion” hypothesis contend that this condition is really a misdiagnosis of gender dysphoria and that its real cause lies elsewhere. Two lines of evidence support the “social contagion” hypothesis. The first comes from reports of parents whose children transitioned as teens. While many parents support their children’s desire to transition, others are hesitant to do so. It could be that these parents are transphobic, but research shows this is not the case. Rapid-onset gender dysphoria often occurs in adolescents growing up in well-educated, reasonably affluent families with fairly liberal social values. These parents aren’t anti-trans. It’s just that they don’t think gender dysphoria is the right diagnosis for their child. According to parental reports, these teens were already experiencing mental health issues, and it wasn’t until after they started interacting with trans groups on social media that they began to attribute their psychological problems to gender dysphoria. Furthermore, their online friends convinced them that the only way to overcome their feelings of depression and anxiety was to transition. It could very well be the case that gender dysphoria is the root of the mental health issues these teens are experiencing. After all, it can take time to diagnose some psychological disorders properly. For instance, bipolar disorder can easily be misidentified as depression at first. However, in the case of rapid-onset gender dysphoria, patients may get diagnoses from untrained amateurs with a political agenda rather than trained professionals with expertise in the field. The second line of evidence for the “social contagion” hypothesis is the observation that a fairly high proportion of teens who transition seek to de-transition a few years later. They decide for themselves that their psychological issues weren’t really due to gender dysphoria. Or, at least, they find that transitioning hasn’t resolved those issues. Political Arguments vs. Scientific Evidence As Diaz and Bailey pointed out in their article, research on rapid-onset gender dysphoria has been hampered by political activism. The lay public and healthcare professionals are split in their support for the “better detection” and “social contagion” hypotheses. Those who believe we’re just getting better at detecting gender dysphoria in adolescence generally advocate for rapid transition, while those who believe that rapid-onset gender dysphoria likely has a social origin urge for a wait-and-see approach. At this point, we just don’t know which hypothesis is correct. If transitioning will help these teens regain their mental health, we should definitely pursue this course of action. However, if many of these adolescents will eventually de-transition, early transitioning may be a treatment that causes more harm than good. We need a dispassionate approach that examines the full range of evidence without bias. This includes comparisons of trans adults who choose to de-transition with those who don’t and studies of those who transition early versus those who transition later. We also need to consider parents' reports, both those who supported their teen’s transition and those who didn’t. Only in this way can we understand the true nature of rapid-onset gender dysphoria and the best way to treat it.
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  • Can Personality Change?

    Almost by definition, personality traits are thought to be enduring psychological features. They mark someone as thinking and behaving in a characteristic way right now—and, probably, tomorrow and even a year from now. Indeed, research on personality development over time indicates that, at least in adulthood, individuals’ comparative ratings on traits such as extroversion, agreeableness, and conscientiousness are relatively stable.

    At the same time, it’s clear that people’s personalities do gradually evolve over the lifespan, from childhood through older age, and potentially shift in conjunction with important life events, such as romantic partnerships. Individuals may even be able to change aspects of their personalities through their own volition.

    While traits show stability over time, personality can indeed change—and psychologists continue to explore why, how, and when that happens.

    On This Page-
    How Personality Changes With Age
    Changing Personality on Purpose
    What Shapes Personality?
    How Personality Changes With Age
    Will a kind, hard-working, and introverted teenage girl still retain those traits when she’s a 55-year-old woman? Has an outspoken and short-tempered grandfather always been that way, or has he grown more so over the years? One way to answer these questions might be: Yes and no.

    Psychologists who have analyzed data on personalities taken decades apart in the lifespan find evidence for both stability and change. That is, people often resemble themselves over time rather than changing dramatically—and will likely remain more extroverted or neurotic than most if they start out that way. But there are also overall trends showing that people tend to rate higher or lower on certain traits with the passage of years.

    What are some ways personality changes in adulthood?
    In short, people seem to mature, or become more socially adapted, over time in ways that show up on personality tests. Personality data taken first in youth and again 50 years later showed increases in traits such as calmness (thought to be related to emotional stability) and social sensitivity (related to agreeableness). Other work has found evidence that narcissism decreases, on average, over time.

    How does personality change when we’re growing up?
    Children, studies suggest, may show increasingly more distinct trait profiles as they grow older. Research involving adolescents and young adults indicates fluctuations in personality over time: In the teen years, for instance, boys may become less conscientious and girls less emotionally stable, on average, with both gaining in those traits as they reach adulthood. Agreeableness also seems to increase.

    Do personalities change after major life events?

    Changing Personality on Purpose
    People can evolve over the course of experience-filled years for many different reasons. But what about the person who wants to become more conscientious or agreeable, or less neurotic or self-centered, and to do so ASAP? Recent research provides reason to be hopeful about the possibilities for intentional, self-directed personality change—though it likely requires more than just wishing to be a certain way.

    Can you change your personality?
    It seems possible. Several of the Big Five traits, including extroversion, conscientiousness, and agreeableness, seem amenable to volitional change—via exercises like deliberately saying hello to someone new (for extroversion)—though consistency in these efforts appeared to be important. Neuroticism (or emotional stability) is also apparently changeable, whether through special courses or through a time-worn method of change: psychotherapy.

    How quickly can personality traits change?
    Some interventions used to enable people to change their personalities have unfolded on the scale of months. But recent research suggests that even a two-week, smartphone-based intervention may be enough to enhance a specific facet of personality like self-discipline—at least in the short-term.

    Can people with personality disorders change?
    Yes. While personality disorders are thought of as long-term patterns of maladaptive thinking and behavior, there is evidence that over time, symptoms of a personality disorder can decrease—even if certain psychological and social impairments remain. In some cases, therapy may be helpful in improving functioning: For example, Dialectical Behavior Therapy is one approach commonly used to treat borderline personality disorder.

    What Shapes Personality?
    As we learn about how much and in what ways personalities develop over time, questions still abound about what, exactly, gives a person a particular set of traits to begin with. As with other psychological characteristics, personality traits are influenced by one’s genes as well as other factors—and not necessarily the ones we think.

    What leads to differences in personality?
    Many theories have been offered over the centuries, and there are still differences of opinion. But contemporary scientific research indicates that some portion of personality differences are explained by people’s genes, a small proportion at most is linked to environmental influences shared within a family, like parenting, and much of the differences result from many other non-genetic developmental factors. Some theorists propose that social role changes influence personality in significant ways as a person grows up.

    How much of personality differences are genetic?
    Estimates suggest the amount of difference between people (or variance) in personality ratings that can be attributed to genes—the heritability of personality—is less than half. A 2015 analysis gave an overall estimate of 40 percent, though it varied depending on the type of study. These figures are based on studies of twins and other approaches for exploring the contribution of genetic and non-genetic factors. Genome-wide association studies (GWAS) are now used to explore the specific links between many small genetic differences and people’s traits.

    Does birth order affect personality?
    Despite popular ideas and psychological theorizing about the effects of being a firstborn sibling, the “baby” of the family, or a middle child, recent studies show no evidence that birth order plays a substantial role in shaping personality. Research on only children has also found little to no difference between their personalities and those of others.
    Can Personality Change? Almost by definition, personality traits are thought to be enduring psychological features. They mark someone as thinking and behaving in a characteristic way right now—and, probably, tomorrow and even a year from now. Indeed, research on personality development over time indicates that, at least in adulthood, individuals’ comparative ratings on traits such as extroversion, agreeableness, and conscientiousness are relatively stable. At the same time, it’s clear that people’s personalities do gradually evolve over the lifespan, from childhood through older age, and potentially shift in conjunction with important life events, such as romantic partnerships. Individuals may even be able to change aspects of their personalities through their own volition. While traits show stability over time, personality can indeed change—and psychologists continue to explore why, how, and when that happens. On This Page- How Personality Changes With Age Changing Personality on Purpose What Shapes Personality? How Personality Changes With Age Will a kind, hard-working, and introverted teenage girl still retain those traits when she’s a 55-year-old woman? Has an outspoken and short-tempered grandfather always been that way, or has he grown more so over the years? One way to answer these questions might be: Yes and no. Psychologists who have analyzed data on personalities taken decades apart in the lifespan find evidence for both stability and change. That is, people often resemble themselves over time rather than changing dramatically—and will likely remain more extroverted or neurotic than most if they start out that way. But there are also overall trends showing that people tend to rate higher or lower on certain traits with the passage of years. What are some ways personality changes in adulthood? In short, people seem to mature, or become more socially adapted, over time in ways that show up on personality tests. Personality data taken first in youth and again 50 years later showed increases in traits such as calmness (thought to be related to emotional stability) and social sensitivity (related to agreeableness). Other work has found evidence that narcissism decreases, on average, over time. How does personality change when we’re growing up? Children, studies suggest, may show increasingly more distinct trait profiles as they grow older. Research involving adolescents and young adults indicates fluctuations in personality over time: In the teen years, for instance, boys may become less conscientious and girls less emotionally stable, on average, with both gaining in those traits as they reach adulthood. Agreeableness also seems to increase. Do personalities change after major life events? Changing Personality on Purpose People can evolve over the course of experience-filled years for many different reasons. But what about the person who wants to become more conscientious or agreeable, or less neurotic or self-centered, and to do so ASAP? Recent research provides reason to be hopeful about the possibilities for intentional, self-directed personality change—though it likely requires more than just wishing to be a certain way. Can you change your personality? It seems possible. Several of the Big Five traits, including extroversion, conscientiousness, and agreeableness, seem amenable to volitional change—via exercises like deliberately saying hello to someone new (for extroversion)—though consistency in these efforts appeared to be important. Neuroticism (or emotional stability) is also apparently changeable, whether through special courses or through a time-worn method of change: psychotherapy. How quickly can personality traits change? Some interventions used to enable people to change their personalities have unfolded on the scale of months. But recent research suggests that even a two-week, smartphone-based intervention may be enough to enhance a specific facet of personality like self-discipline—at least in the short-term. Can people with personality disorders change? Yes. While personality disorders are thought of as long-term patterns of maladaptive thinking and behavior, there is evidence that over time, symptoms of a personality disorder can decrease—even if certain psychological and social impairments remain. In some cases, therapy may be helpful in improving functioning: For example, Dialectical Behavior Therapy is one approach commonly used to treat borderline personality disorder. What Shapes Personality? As we learn about how much and in what ways personalities develop over time, questions still abound about what, exactly, gives a person a particular set of traits to begin with. As with other psychological characteristics, personality traits are influenced by one’s genes as well as other factors—and not necessarily the ones we think. What leads to differences in personality? Many theories have been offered over the centuries, and there are still differences of opinion. But contemporary scientific research indicates that some portion of personality differences are explained by people’s genes, a small proportion at most is linked to environmental influences shared within a family, like parenting, and much of the differences result from many other non-genetic developmental factors. Some theorists propose that social role changes influence personality in significant ways as a person grows up. How much of personality differences are genetic? Estimates suggest the amount of difference between people (or variance) in personality ratings that can be attributed to genes—the heritability of personality—is less than half. A 2015 analysis gave an overall estimate of 40 percent, though it varied depending on the type of study. These figures are based on studies of twins and other approaches for exploring the contribution of genetic and non-genetic factors. Genome-wide association studies (GWAS) are now used to explore the specific links between many small genetic differences and people’s traits. Does birth order affect personality? Despite popular ideas and psychological theorizing about the effects of being a firstborn sibling, the “baby” of the family, or a middle child, recent studies show no evidence that birth order plays a substantial role in shaping personality. Research on only children has also found little to no difference between their personalities and those of others.
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  • CONFIDENCE-
    Breaking Free from Playing Small.
    Women are often admonished to diminish themselves.
    Reviewed by Hara Estroff Marano

    Society often tasks women to be smaller, to take up less space than their male counterparts. This perceived expectation applies both literally and figuratively. Whether in women’s clothing sizes, self-expression, being overlooked at work, or within personal relationships, the experience of being told that smaller or less is better is ubiquitous.

    Women are propagandized to fit into magazine or billboard images of what a woman should look like. Size-zero clothing can be seen to suggest that women should strive to be invisible altogether. Exuberance is frowned upon. Women are even more likely to physically take less space on subways or other modes of transit.

    Where It All Begins
    The sad fact is that as early as kindergarten, young girls start diminishing themselves.

    Studies show that young boys gain social status in the schoolyard when they brag about themselves and strive to make themselves larger than life. By contrast, young girls quickly tune in to subtle (and not so subtle) cues that they must step back from their young feminine power or face social shunning. When faced with that threat, it’s natural that girls begin to diminish themselves, thus starting the conditioning to be self-effacing and self-deprecating.

    This sets up women to not only deny their power, strength, and confidence but also to contain themselves. It keeps them playing small for the sake of social safety.

    The Pattern Continues into Adulthood
    When someone is told that they are "too much," then the natural inclination is to tone down. If someone is a little flamboyant, whether in dress, self-expression, or voice, it’s common to be rejected for not fitting in. Shame about physical attributes, dress, life choices, and even exuberance takes the lead in dictating future choices and behaviors.

    The conditioning does not come just from men. Women fall victim to the shrinking syndrome themselves and, in addition to judging themselves, they also are likely to judge other women harshly.

    It’s no surprise that later in life, women might allow men to take credit for their ideas. Or that women change their tone to avoid being seen as aggressive when acting in a way that a man would be rewarded for.

    As women dim themselves, men are rewarded for beating their chests. They get promotions, higher wages, and the higher ground in relationships. All because they feel safe putting themselves out there. They expect to get what they want, so they ask for it.

    Women are less likely to ask. Studies show that a woman meeting a majority of the requirements for a job posting is significantly less likely to apply for the job than a man with fewer of the posted requirements.

    Women hold themselves back because that conditioned little girl from the schoolyard whispers in her ear to not think too much of herself for fear of social consequences. And so they make themselves a little less-than, or they already believed they were less than in the first place.

    Either way, women end up getting less than they deserve.
    Women dim themselves not only in business but also in their romantic relationships, often giving up their own dreams, visions, and aspirations to prop up the men in their lives. There is a high cost that comes with such behavior. It stunts personal potential and fulfillment—and it sends dangerous messages for the next generation. When women subjugate their needs to those of their partners, it teaches young women that their needs are not as important as those of the men in their lives. It reinforces for young men that their needs are more important than those of women they may partner with. In that way, the problem becomes self-perpetuating.

    How to Break Free
    Freedom from the societal push to stay take up less space starts with a commitment.

    A simple, but courageous, commitment to stop making oneself smaller. And to create a community that is willing to challenge one another to be the fullest possible versions of themselves.

    Together, the community can shine brightly and promise to support other women in being their fullest, most expressed, and expansive version of themselves, rather than judging them for being “too much.”

    Women can learn to celebrate each other’s bigness and create communities that support, rather than shun, uniqueness.

    In order to get what one wants, one must raise their voice, ask for what they want, and expect to get it. From the boardroom to the bedroom, or the playground to the senior home, women can choose to spread out and take up more space, simply by doing so.
    CONFIDENCE- Breaking Free from Playing Small. Women are often admonished to diminish themselves. Reviewed by Hara Estroff Marano Society often tasks women to be smaller, to take up less space than their male counterparts. This perceived expectation applies both literally and figuratively. Whether in women’s clothing sizes, self-expression, being overlooked at work, or within personal relationships, the experience of being told that smaller or less is better is ubiquitous. Women are propagandized to fit into magazine or billboard images of what a woman should look like. Size-zero clothing can be seen to suggest that women should strive to be invisible altogether. Exuberance is frowned upon. Women are even more likely to physically take less space on subways or other modes of transit. Where It All Begins The sad fact is that as early as kindergarten, young girls start diminishing themselves. Studies show that young boys gain social status in the schoolyard when they brag about themselves and strive to make themselves larger than life. By contrast, young girls quickly tune in to subtle (and not so subtle) cues that they must step back from their young feminine power or face social shunning. When faced with that threat, it’s natural that girls begin to diminish themselves, thus starting the conditioning to be self-effacing and self-deprecating. This sets up women to not only deny their power, strength, and confidence but also to contain themselves. It keeps them playing small for the sake of social safety. The Pattern Continues into Adulthood When someone is told that they are "too much," then the natural inclination is to tone down. If someone is a little flamboyant, whether in dress, self-expression, or voice, it’s common to be rejected for not fitting in. Shame about physical attributes, dress, life choices, and even exuberance takes the lead in dictating future choices and behaviors. The conditioning does not come just from men. Women fall victim to the shrinking syndrome themselves and, in addition to judging themselves, they also are likely to judge other women harshly. It’s no surprise that later in life, women might allow men to take credit for their ideas. Or that women change their tone to avoid being seen as aggressive when acting in a way that a man would be rewarded for. As women dim themselves, men are rewarded for beating their chests. They get promotions, higher wages, and the higher ground in relationships. All because they feel safe putting themselves out there. They expect to get what they want, so they ask for it. Women are less likely to ask. Studies show that a woman meeting a majority of the requirements for a job posting is significantly less likely to apply for the job than a man with fewer of the posted requirements. Women hold themselves back because that conditioned little girl from the schoolyard whispers in her ear to not think too much of herself for fear of social consequences. And so they make themselves a little less-than, or they already believed they were less than in the first place. Either way, women end up getting less than they deserve. Women dim themselves not only in business but also in their romantic relationships, often giving up their own dreams, visions, and aspirations to prop up the men in their lives. There is a high cost that comes with such behavior. It stunts personal potential and fulfillment—and it sends dangerous messages for the next generation. When women subjugate their needs to those of their partners, it teaches young women that their needs are not as important as those of the men in their lives. It reinforces for young men that their needs are more important than those of women they may partner with. In that way, the problem becomes self-perpetuating. How to Break Free Freedom from the societal push to stay take up less space starts with a commitment. A simple, but courageous, commitment to stop making oneself smaller. And to create a community that is willing to challenge one another to be the fullest possible versions of themselves. Together, the community can shine brightly and promise to support other women in being their fullest, most expressed, and expansive version of themselves, rather than judging them for being “too much.” Women can learn to celebrate each other’s bigness and create communities that support, rather than shun, uniqueness. In order to get what one wants, one must raise their voice, ask for what they want, and expect to get it. From the boardroom to the bedroom, or the playground to the senior home, women can choose to spread out and take up more space, simply by doing so.
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  • "Manfulness" and Meditation.
    Men must feel confident in using a heart-centered approach to present moments.
    Reviewed by Vanessa Lancaster

    KEY POINTS-
    Being male is the single largest demographic factor for early death.
    It’s well documented that men are their own worst enemies when it comes to health care.
    Meditative practice builds bigger brains, and stronger immune systems, increases energy, improves memory, and increases libido.
    “You can make any human activity into meditation simply by being complete with it and doing it just to do it.” —Alan Watts

    Mindfulness meditation is one of the go-to tools in my psychological first aid (PFA) toolbelt to help people in the aftermath of a traumatic event. I have found that selling this practice to mitigate the symptoms associated with a crisis event is easier with the women I work with. Many of the men I meet in these situations will often resist the offer and explain that they need something more concrete than simply “being aware” or, God forbid, learning to breathe.

    I must confess that this response has also been my experience in my psychotherapy practice. I have concluded that there appears to be a negative polarity between testosterone and anything that smacks of a New Age antidote. This has been the source of endless frustration as I have witnessed countless men trapped in the egoic brain fog of trying to think their way out of suffering.

    Randolph Nesse, MD, professor of psychiatry and psychology at the University of Michigan and author of several books on evolutionary medicine, wrote, “Being male is now the single largest demographic factor for early death.” As a mental health professional with over 30 years of experience in the field, I not only second that thought; I would add that being male is also the primary obstacle to getting help to change that fact.

    As a psychotherapist and carrier of the Y chromosome, I not only empathize with my brothers, but I, too, find that manliness often gets in the way of wellness. It’s well-documented that we are our own worst enemies when it comes to health. Our culture supports a “don’t ask, don’t tell” mentality regarding our struggles. However, it’s a misconception that men don’t ask for help—we ask for it all the time—you know it as anger, rage, and acting out behaviors.

    It should come as no surprise that, given this locker room mentality, many men turn a blind eye to the benefits of mindfulness meditation—the intentional practice of observing the present moment with a heart-centered approach to life. Despite the growing body of research pointing to the multiple health benefits of this technique, most men prefer to argue about their right to be ill, rather than sit still and silently observe the workings of their minds.

    Some of the reasons why men don’t meditate include the following:
    It feels woo-woo, just one step up from cooties.
    Sitting still only takes place while fishing and watching sports.
    Being alone with one’s thoughts can feel like being alone with a crazy person.
    Fear of getting it wrong or having to ask for directions on how to do it.

    While the obvious approach to leading men toward a meditative practice would be to give these approaches a harder edge, this only perpetuates the problem. While it would be easy to market extreme meditation, we fall back into the man-pit and inflame an already swollen ego. This, by the way, was the downfall of the getting in touch with your “inner warrior” movement. We also know from past experiences that moving to the other end of the continuum, where real men eat quiche, was an overcorrection and had no staying power.

    What is called for is the middle path that runs through the origins of meditative practices. Men cannot be scared into developing a heart-centered approach to the present moment, nor will they be enticed by the promises that they will discover their true selves. What will pique their interest are the studies showing meditation builds bigger brains, and stronger immune systems, increases energy, improves memory, and increases libido.

    Since many men avoid wellness activities when they become trendy and seem geared toward the female species, I suggest we develop the concept of manfulness—the practice of being fully aware of the obstacles that being a man presents and the willingness to see these obstacles as the very path to liberation from the constraints of manhood. Simply put, let’s drop the need to figure out what it means to be a man and make it more meaningful.

    In addition to formalized meditative moments—spending time intentionally focusing on one’s internal environment—practicing the art of manfulness includes:

    No longer living in the shadows of our fathers: Whether they were heroes or villains, our fathers all suffered from the same sense of separation from heart and mind.
    Stop pretending that the phrase “boys will be boys” should apply to grown men: Inhabiting an adult body with a child’s mind is what turns a workplace into a playground rife with bullies.
    No longer confusing excitement for happiness: Too often, thrill-seeking represents a cry for help, or at the very least, an attempt to keep one’s life moving so fast that slowing down to look at the carnage is impossible.
    Realizing that anger is not a normal response to pain: Anger is, at best, an artificial substitute for tears when it comes to pain—the emotional equivalent of Aspartame.
    Understanding that choosing between intellect and emotion is a false choice: Not only can you have both, but connecting these two elements is primary to a healthy life.

    Whether or not manfulness becomes part of the man code will rely heavily on the willingness of men of all stripes to make it a priority. To prevent the meditative lifestyle from retreating into our past's black-light, incense-infused rooms, men need to come out of the shadows and share in awakening a new consciousness. Ironically, this new state of mind is as old as time and was pointed to by wise men throughout the ages. This means it is our turn to “man up” and honor our sage forefathers, not by following in their footsteps, but by seeking what they sought.
    "Manfulness" and Meditation. Men must feel confident in using a heart-centered approach to present moments. Reviewed by Vanessa Lancaster KEY POINTS- Being male is the single largest demographic factor for early death. It’s well documented that men are their own worst enemies when it comes to health care. Meditative practice builds bigger brains, and stronger immune systems, increases energy, improves memory, and increases libido. “You can make any human activity into meditation simply by being complete with it and doing it just to do it.” —Alan Watts Mindfulness meditation is one of the go-to tools in my psychological first aid (PFA) toolbelt to help people in the aftermath of a traumatic event. I have found that selling this practice to mitigate the symptoms associated with a crisis event is easier with the women I work with. Many of the men I meet in these situations will often resist the offer and explain that they need something more concrete than simply “being aware” or, God forbid, learning to breathe. I must confess that this response has also been my experience in my psychotherapy practice. I have concluded that there appears to be a negative polarity between testosterone and anything that smacks of a New Age antidote. This has been the source of endless frustration as I have witnessed countless men trapped in the egoic brain fog of trying to think their way out of suffering. Randolph Nesse, MD, professor of psychiatry and psychology at the University of Michigan and author of several books on evolutionary medicine, wrote, “Being male is now the single largest demographic factor for early death.” As a mental health professional with over 30 years of experience in the field, I not only second that thought; I would add that being male is also the primary obstacle to getting help to change that fact. As a psychotherapist and carrier of the Y chromosome, I not only empathize with my brothers, but I, too, find that manliness often gets in the way of wellness. It’s well-documented that we are our own worst enemies when it comes to health. Our culture supports a “don’t ask, don’t tell” mentality regarding our struggles. However, it’s a misconception that men don’t ask for help—we ask for it all the time—you know it as anger, rage, and acting out behaviors. It should come as no surprise that, given this locker room mentality, many men turn a blind eye to the benefits of mindfulness meditation—the intentional practice of observing the present moment with a heart-centered approach to life. Despite the growing body of research pointing to the multiple health benefits of this technique, most men prefer to argue about their right to be ill, rather than sit still and silently observe the workings of their minds. Some of the reasons why men don’t meditate include the following: It feels woo-woo, just one step up from cooties. Sitting still only takes place while fishing and watching sports. Being alone with one’s thoughts can feel like being alone with a crazy person. Fear of getting it wrong or having to ask for directions on how to do it. While the obvious approach to leading men toward a meditative practice would be to give these approaches a harder edge, this only perpetuates the problem. While it would be easy to market extreme meditation, we fall back into the man-pit and inflame an already swollen ego. This, by the way, was the downfall of the getting in touch with your “inner warrior” movement. We also know from past experiences that moving to the other end of the continuum, where real men eat quiche, was an overcorrection and had no staying power. What is called for is the middle path that runs through the origins of meditative practices. Men cannot be scared into developing a heart-centered approach to the present moment, nor will they be enticed by the promises that they will discover their true selves. What will pique their interest are the studies showing meditation builds bigger brains, and stronger immune systems, increases energy, improves memory, and increases libido. Since many men avoid wellness activities when they become trendy and seem geared toward the female species, I suggest we develop the concept of manfulness—the practice of being fully aware of the obstacles that being a man presents and the willingness to see these obstacles as the very path to liberation from the constraints of manhood. Simply put, let’s drop the need to figure out what it means to be a man and make it more meaningful. In addition to formalized meditative moments—spending time intentionally focusing on one’s internal environment—practicing the art of manfulness includes: No longer living in the shadows of our fathers: Whether they were heroes or villains, our fathers all suffered from the same sense of separation from heart and mind. Stop pretending that the phrase “boys will be boys” should apply to grown men: Inhabiting an adult body with a child’s mind is what turns a workplace into a playground rife with bullies. No longer confusing excitement for happiness: Too often, thrill-seeking represents a cry for help, or at the very least, an attempt to keep one’s life moving so fast that slowing down to look at the carnage is impossible. Realizing that anger is not a normal response to pain: Anger is, at best, an artificial substitute for tears when it comes to pain—the emotional equivalent of Aspartame. Understanding that choosing between intellect and emotion is a false choice: Not only can you have both, but connecting these two elements is primary to a healthy life. Whether or not manfulness becomes part of the man code will rely heavily on the willingness of men of all stripes to make it a priority. To prevent the meditative lifestyle from retreating into our past's black-light, incense-infused rooms, men need to come out of the shadows and share in awakening a new consciousness. Ironically, this new state of mind is as old as time and was pointed to by wise men throughout the ages. This means it is our turn to “man up” and honor our sage forefathers, not by following in their footsteps, but by seeking what they sought.
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  • 3 Myths About Love to Let Go of as You Grow Up.
    Sometimes, a bit of disillusionment is helpful for us when it comes to love.
    Reviewed by Davia Sills

    KEY POINTS-
    Everyone deserves to have an authentic and healthy experience of love.
    Sometimes, distorted representations of love that people see in their youth can negatively affect their adult relationships.
    Letting go of these common misconceptions will help people to develop healthier and happier long-term bonds.

    Many people come to therapy distressed when the rose-tinted glasses through which they once viewed love begin to crack. They say things like:

    “I always wanted the fairytale, but the dating scene is the exact opposite. How come no one prepared me for this?”
    “Love has always been this pure and ecstatic thing for me. But, lately, it’s been getting more and more messy. Was I wrong this whole time?”
    “What if I never find my soulmate? I don’t ever want to settle for anyone but my twin flame.”
    We are inundated with all kinds of narratives and representations of love from a young age. No wonder our idea of what love should look and feel like can be muddled and manufactured. The truth is that all of us get to define what love means for ourselves.

    We all deserve to have an authentic experience of love. Misrepresentations of it can lead us away from what we really want. Here are three myths about love you might need to unlearn, according to mental health research.

    1. Opposite poles attract.
    The typical rom-com scenario of two diametrically opposed individuals falling in love with each other and living "happily ever after" is statistically inaccurate, according to research published in Personality and Individual Differences.

    This does not mean that different people cannot fall in love with each other; it simply means that the differences aren’t the reason for their bond. The simple, boring truth is that similarity and compatibility in values and priorities are what ensure a long and satisfying relationship.

    Then what is it that makes us choose partners so different from us? There are two possible reasons, according to researchers Zsófia Csajbók and Peter Jonason:

    Yin-yang thinking: This is a thought process that mistakes the volatility of an "opposites" relationship for love. While the differences could add to the drama and spice in your relationship, they might never give you the peace, comfort, or security that love should ensure.
    Childhood experiences: People who are attracted to the "opposites attract" school might be emulating relationships they saw when growing up—such as having extremely dissimilar parents.

    2. The teen fantasy
    You might cringe at popular teenage media like Twilight and Wattpad fanfiction now, but most of us have had our fair share of problematic teen fantasies growing up. But what if these obsolete fantasies were still insidiously influencing our adult relationships?

    A study published in the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy that examined teenagers’ "relationship cognitions" explained that adolescents, mostly boys, can sometimes have highly risky ways of viewing and thinking about relationships. These include believing in "blind love," i.e., thinking that feelings of love alone are enough to sustain a relationship, sliding into new relationships instead of pacing themselves, and even being tolerant towards controlling behaviors like manipulation and abuse.

    It’s important to look inward and understand whether the way you view your relationships is problematic and possibly being informed by your teenage self.

    We cannot blame our younger selves for not knowing better. However, if we do not address the root of the issue, we might end up following the template well into adulthood.

    3. Till death do us part
    This one might be especially painful for the ones still rooting for Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn. Relationships, even the most beautiful and loving ones, may not last forever. And even when they do, the dynamic of the relationship can change dramatically.

    For instance, people may not want to live together or stay monogamous anymore in their marriage or long-term relationship. While changes like these might be uncomfortable to make or even consider, they can ultimately feel most liberating and authentic.

    NYU professor and researcher Zhana Vrangalova explains that the urge to "open up" your relationship to a non-monogamous arrangement does not necessarily signal the end of love. In fact, it could mean that both partners love and trust each other enough to experiment with novelty.

    Love should be what you want it to be. However, it is undeniably complex and dynamic. Tying yourself down to a one-dimensional image in your head that has no room for you or your partner’s desires may burn your relationship out.

    Conclusion
    Your perception of love needs to grow and change with you. Getting fixated on a specific idea of love, especially if it’s not yours, can lead to a world of hurt. It is in your self-interest to communicate your deepest desires and be completely transparent in your relationship to ensure a bond that stands the test of time.
    3 Myths About Love to Let Go of as You Grow Up. Sometimes, a bit of disillusionment is helpful for us when it comes to love. Reviewed by Davia Sills KEY POINTS- Everyone deserves to have an authentic and healthy experience of love. Sometimes, distorted representations of love that people see in their youth can negatively affect their adult relationships. Letting go of these common misconceptions will help people to develop healthier and happier long-term bonds. Many people come to therapy distressed when the rose-tinted glasses through which they once viewed love begin to crack. They say things like: “I always wanted the fairytale, but the dating scene is the exact opposite. How come no one prepared me for this?” “Love has always been this pure and ecstatic thing for me. But, lately, it’s been getting more and more messy. Was I wrong this whole time?” “What if I never find my soulmate? I don’t ever want to settle for anyone but my twin flame.” We are inundated with all kinds of narratives and representations of love from a young age. No wonder our idea of what love should look and feel like can be muddled and manufactured. The truth is that all of us get to define what love means for ourselves. We all deserve to have an authentic experience of love. Misrepresentations of it can lead us away from what we really want. Here are three myths about love you might need to unlearn, according to mental health research. 1. Opposite poles attract. The typical rom-com scenario of two diametrically opposed individuals falling in love with each other and living "happily ever after" is statistically inaccurate, according to research published in Personality and Individual Differences. This does not mean that different people cannot fall in love with each other; it simply means that the differences aren’t the reason for their bond. The simple, boring truth is that similarity and compatibility in values and priorities are what ensure a long and satisfying relationship. Then what is it that makes us choose partners so different from us? There are two possible reasons, according to researchers Zsófia Csajbók and Peter Jonason: Yin-yang thinking: This is a thought process that mistakes the volatility of an "opposites" relationship for love. While the differences could add to the drama and spice in your relationship, they might never give you the peace, comfort, or security that love should ensure. Childhood experiences: People who are attracted to the "opposites attract" school might be emulating relationships they saw when growing up—such as having extremely dissimilar parents. 2. The teen fantasy You might cringe at popular teenage media like Twilight and Wattpad fanfiction now, but most of us have had our fair share of problematic teen fantasies growing up. But what if these obsolete fantasies were still insidiously influencing our adult relationships? A study published in the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy that examined teenagers’ "relationship cognitions" explained that adolescents, mostly boys, can sometimes have highly risky ways of viewing and thinking about relationships. These include believing in "blind love," i.e., thinking that feelings of love alone are enough to sustain a relationship, sliding into new relationships instead of pacing themselves, and even being tolerant towards controlling behaviors like manipulation and abuse. It’s important to look inward and understand whether the way you view your relationships is problematic and possibly being informed by your teenage self. We cannot blame our younger selves for not knowing better. However, if we do not address the root of the issue, we might end up following the template well into adulthood. 3. Till death do us part This one might be especially painful for the ones still rooting for Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn. Relationships, even the most beautiful and loving ones, may not last forever. And even when they do, the dynamic of the relationship can change dramatically. For instance, people may not want to live together or stay monogamous anymore in their marriage or long-term relationship. While changes like these might be uncomfortable to make or even consider, they can ultimately feel most liberating and authentic. NYU professor and researcher Zhana Vrangalova explains that the urge to "open up" your relationship to a non-monogamous arrangement does not necessarily signal the end of love. In fact, it could mean that both partners love and trust each other enough to experiment with novelty. Love should be what you want it to be. However, it is undeniably complex and dynamic. Tying yourself down to a one-dimensional image in your head that has no room for you or your partner’s desires may burn your relationship out. Conclusion Your perception of love needs to grow and change with you. Getting fixated on a specific idea of love, especially if it’s not yours, can lead to a world of hurt. It is in your self-interest to communicate your deepest desires and be completely transparent in your relationship to ensure a bond that stands the test of time.
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