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Forty percent of college students binge drink, and 20 percent engage in extreme bingeing, with consequences including accidents, date rape, alcohol poisoning, and even death. An alarming 20 percent of college girls will be the victim of sexual assault, and in 80 to 90 percent of cases, will be intoxicated when this happens. These experiences could lead to psychological trauma or an unwanted pregnancy. Three hundred students will die of simple alcohol poisoning each year. Over 700,000 violent events occur annually on campus that are directly attributable to intoxication.

Talking to your college kid about safe drinking may save their life, but finding the right words is essential. I interviewed Kirk Luder, who has been a university psychiatrist at Washington and Lee University, the Virginia Military Institute, and Middlebury College this week. He shared practical strategies for how college kids can limit their drinking and still fit in and have fun.

Luder stresses that talking to your kid in an adult-to-adult way is key.

It’s important to understand why kids drink: For young people, having friends is all-important, and drinking with friends is seen as an important part of fitting in. While you may openly acknowledge that your kid will probably drink in college, it is important to do so in a way that helps them to have fun without causing harm. Research shows that up to four or five drinks increases the sense of fun, but beyond that enjoyment plateaus and harmful consequences kick in, including acting inappropriately, vomiting, loss of good judgment, and ultimately, alcohol poisoning at high levels.

Some simple, practical strategies parents can share with kids for keeping drinking under control include:

• Don’t drink on an empty stomach. You will drink more if you are hungry, and you will absorb alcohol much faster.
• Alternate an alcoholic drink with a non-alcoholic drink. Always have a non-alcoholic drink in your hand when you have reached your daily drinking limit.
• When you are not drinking alcohol, keep your cup filled with a non-alcoholic drink so people won’t keep insisting you have more.
• Count your drinks, and limit to four for women, five for men.
• Learn simple refusal statements, like, “No, I’m good,” or, “Catch me later.”
• Avoid pre-game drinking, doing shots, or playing drinking games.
• Look for campus activities where kids get together without alcohol, such as playing sports, drama, music and arts programs, religious groups, or outdoor adventure groups.

Research shows that when parents talk to their kids about drinking, kids do better about limiting their drinking.