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Retirement was supposed to be the reward of many years of hard work, not a life plagued by migraines. Since retiring five years earlier, Clara went from being physically active, outgoing, and healthy to bedridden, isolated, and in constant pain. What she did not know was that her husband was contributing to her condition. Yes, he was a pain in the neck!

When Clara finally understood the mind-body connection, she was able to put her chronic pain behind her.

Ironically, it was her years of consulting with top experts, pursuing explanations and medical testing, that became a major barrier to her in considering the evidence that was fairly easy to recognize once she knew what to look for.

The Role of the Immune System

My father was 50 years old when he had his first major heart attack. Within a few days of the heart attack and bypass surgery, his dark brown hair turned completely white. I was a university student at the time studying psychology and was struck by how his body was impacted by the psychological and physical trauma that had occurred.

That event, and many others like it, drove me to look for answers about the mind-body connection. What I learned many years ago about stress pales in comparison to what we know now. Even using the term “mind-body connection” is a carryover from the days of seeing the mind as separate from the body, which it is not.

When we are under prolonged stress, one element of our automatic response is to prepare for a physical threat should one occur. For example, if you are traveling down a busy highway at high speeds and a dangerous driver cuts you off, in that moment of high risk, your immune system will engage as a part of your stress response. The immune system instantly releases inflammatory factors that prepare your body to react should an accident occur and injure you. Even before you are hurt in any way, inflammatory processes are already in place.

The immune system’s role is helpful if you end up injured in a car accident. But what happens to all that preparation if the accident never occurs? Taking this question one step further, what happens if your immune system is turned on repeatedly because of chronic stress? We know the answer to this question—and it is not good.

Researchers at Carnegie Mellon University have found that stress can lead to the dysregulation of the immune system, which impairs the proper response to events like colds and viruses, making us more vulnerable to illness. But the key finding of their research was that ongoing stress results in the overactivity of the immune system, which leads to the harmful inflammation processes often seen in diseases such as cardiovascular, asthma, and autoimmune disorders.

Connecting the Dots

What confuses many people who are experiencing health problems that may be linked to stress is that they do not feel under pressure or upset by any specific event. They go through their daily routines without any single event triggering a major stress response. So, what are they missing?

Stress is not something bad happening that causes us to be upset. Stress is anything that requires adjustment. Good things, like starting a new job or getting married, are major life adjustments. So is graduating from high school or college. When we are taking an honest inventory of our stress levels, we must look for all the changes that have happened in our lives, both good and bad, that require us to look at life differently and go through life in a new way.

Getting back to Clara, there was one question I asked that started her thinking. Her headaches started five years ago, which prompted me to be curious about what was happening in her life at that moment. The first question was about her husband. I asked, “Tell me, what was your husband doing five years ago?”

She answered, “About five years ago, he retired soon after I did.”

“That’s interesting,” I replied. “What type of work was your husband doing before he retired?”

She went on to say her husband was a highly successful business leader who ran several companies and had a large support staff. This led me to ask one more question: “What has it been like for you to have your husband home every day, all day, for the past five years?”

You can probably imagine her answer. Putting it politely, she explained it was an adjustment. This one insight was all she needed to start putting the pieces of her puzzle together.

The Physical Signs of Stress

Five years ago, Clara started having occasional headaches every few days. Those headaches became chronic headaches after a few short months. A year later, the monthly migraines began. In time, the frequency and intensity of those migraines increased to the point Clara could hardly function.

Understanding the mind-body connection and learning active pain management strategies helped Clara get back to the life she loved.

Not everyone reacts to stress like Clara. For others, stress may impact other systems of the body. Common physical signs of stress include hair loss, dry mouth, upset stomach, muscle aches, back pain, jaw and ear pain, dizziness, lack of sex drive, heart rhythm abnormalities, eczema, and reproductive problems.

If you find yourself making more medical appointments than usual, it is worth asking yourself about the adjustments you have experienced in the past year. Have you started something new or finished something important? Has someone important entered or left your life? Has the overall direction of your life changed in unexcepted ways? Have you let go of a dream or other important goals? Is there a significant gap between what you want and what you have, or between who you are and how you want to be? 

Use these questions to help you connect the dots in your life. Talking with your physician, therapist, or even good friend might help you get some honest feedback about what others see that you might not. If there is more change going on in your life than what you realized, try to embrace it.

Stress points to the people, values, and issues in our life that we care about deeply. Use that knowledge to help you learn new ways to adjust to inevitable changes in life so that you can bend and not break under pressure.