HAPPINESS- The Unexpected Truth About What Really Makes Us Happy. How embracing negative emotions opens us up to feeling happier. Reviewed by Jessica Schrader
KEY POINTS-
- We may be vulnerable to feeling empty and sad in contrast to the glorified lives of social media influencers.
- Mindfulness, acceptance, and clarifying our values help us effectively manage negative feelings.
- Acknowledging our negative emotions and actively cultivating positive experiences is crucial for happiness.
Our aversion to sadness and other negative emotions is a very heightened current problem. No doubt so many of us are vulnerable to feeling empty and sad, especially when contrasting ourselves to the glorified lives of social media influencers and celebrities.
There is a rapidly growing school of thought and practice found in acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) where clients learn to stop avoiding, denying, and struggling with their inner emotions. ACT helps us realize that when we accept the full range of our feelings, we experience greater well-being, including a sense of happiness. They accept that these deeper, negative feelings have valid meanings and that should not prevent them from moving forward in their lives. With this understanding, clients learn to accept their struggles. This leads them to make changes in their behavior, regardless of what is going on in their lives and how they feel about it.
What ACT Entails
ACT therapy utilizes various techniques and strategies to promote psychological flexibility, including:
- Mindfulness: ACT emphasizes present-moment awareness and the ability to observe thoughts, emotions, and sensations without judgment. Mindfulness techniques are used to help individuals develop a non-reactive and accepting stance toward their internal experiences.
- Acceptance: Rather than struggling against or avoiding unwanted thoughts or feelings, ACT encourages individuals to accept them as they are, recognizing that resistance often intensifies suffering. Acceptance involves allowing these experiences to come and go without trying to control or eliminate them.
- Cognitive defusion: This technique aims to help individuals distance themselves from their thoughts and see them as simply mental events rather than absolute truths. By observing thoughts from a detached perspective, individuals can reduce their impact and influence over their behavior.
- Values clarification: ACT emphasizes the importance of identifying and connecting with one's deeply held values. Through exercises and exploration, individuals gain clarity about what truly matters to them and use these values as a guide for their actions.
- Committed action: Once values are clarified, ACT encourages individuals to take committed action toward their values. This involves setting specific goals and engaging in behaviors that are in line with one's values, even in the presence of discomfort or difficult emotions.
Yes, depression truly is a significant and serious health problem, which needs to be professionally treated. At the same time, we should distinguish it from ordinary sadness. The more we embrace sadness, the more fulfilled and happier we will feel.
The Benefits Of Embracing Sadness
Embracing sadness and allowing yourself to experience and process your emotions can indeed contribute to a sense of overall happiness and well-being. While it may seem counterintuitive, suppressing or avoiding negative emotions like sadness can be detrimental to your mental health. Here's how embracing sadness can lead to greater happiness:
1. Authenticity and self-awareness: Acknowledging and accepting your sadness is a sign of emotional maturity and self-awareness. It allows you to be authentic to yourself, which fosters a deeper understanding of your emotions and needs.
2. Emotional release and catharsis: Allowing yourself to feel sadness provides an outlet for emotional release. When you embrace your sadness, you give yourself permission to grieve, reflect, and process difficult experiences. This cathartic process can alleviate emotional burdens and promote healing.
3. Increased empathy and connection: Sadness is a universal emotion that everyone experiences at some point. When you embrace your sadness, you develop a deeper understanding and empathy for others who may be going through similar experiences. This empathy can foster stronger connections and relationships with others, leading to a greater sense of happiness and belonging.
4. Growth and resilience: Sadness often accompanies challenging life events or transitions. By embracing sadness, you open yourself up to personal growth and resilience. It allows you to learn from difficult experiences, develop coping strategies, and build emotional strength. Overcoming sadness can contribute to a sense of accomplishment and personal development, ultimately enhancing your happiness.
5. Gratitude and perspective: Experiencing sadness can provide contrast and perspective, making you appreciate the positive aspects of life. By embracing sadness, you gain a deeper understanding of the value of joy, happiness, and gratitude. It can help you cultivate a greater sense of appreciation for the good things in your life, leading to overall happiness.
Concluding Thoughts
Experiencing sadness should not be equated with unlocking the key to sustained happiness. While sadness can contribute to our overall well-being in the long run, it is essential to address and manage sadness appropriately. Maintaining a balance between acknowledging and processing our negative emotions and actively cultivating positive experiences is crucial for overall happiness.
Embracing sadness doesn't mean dwelling in it indefinitely or neglecting self-care. It's about allowing yourself to experience and process the emotion healthily, seeking support when needed, and gradually moving towards a more positive emotional state. If you find yourself consistently overwhelmed by sadness or unable to cope, it's crucial to reach out to a mental health professional for guidance and support.
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