KEY POINTS-

  • One can still make tough decisions and drive results as a kind leader.
  • Being kind is different from being nice.
  • Teams with compassionate leaders are more likely to be successful and have higher morale.

The importance of being a kind leader and how it leads to happier workplaces, more successful teams, and innovative organizations have gathered attention. Kind leaders build strong relationships and teams, and kindness is key to employee engagement and performance. According to a 2021 study, an organization is five times more likely to be considered innovative if kindness exists in organizational culture and if the company’s leadership style is to lead with kindness. The same study found that kind leadership is important in attracting and retaining talent and that it can increase financial performance and give you a competitive advantage.

 

Being kind is a choice and these qualities can grow, they are muscles that need to be exercised, similar to going to the gym. Even better, kindness is contagious. A 2018 study found that practicing kindness at work not only made employees happier and more satisfied with their jobs but also inspired others to act kindly, 278 percent. It becomes self-propelling because research also shows that happiness at work makes people more productive.

 

What does it mean to be a kind leader and what does it actually look like in practice?

1. Empathy and Connection

Empathy allows leaders to truly understand team and individual needs, which helps them to create an inclusive environment, build community, and promote engagement and individual growth. Empathy is often described as putting yourself in another’s shoes and seeing things from their point of view. Yet, we never really know what someone else is going through. It is important to ask questions and listen actively and openly to best understand their perspectives and values.

 

Empathy is not a checklist—make eye contact, respond with a supportive word or gesture, or smile. Real empathy means listening without thinking about what you are going to say next, or why what the other person is saying is wrong. Empathy is about making a genuine connection, even if you don’t agree, and ask: “Why do they care.” Versus, “Why should they care.” A growing number of academic institutions have embraced teaching improvisation techniques to help scientists and doctors communicate effectively and with empathy. Improvisation helps you build empathetic relationships and be actively engaged in the moment.

 

One of the core rules of improvisation is “Yes, and,” which involves saying yes to the situation presented to you, listening and paying deep attention, and then offering your perspective. All too often we think we are actively listening, but we aren’t, and instead are thinking, “Yes, but"—or worse, “No.” This isn’t really listening at all. “Yes, and” doesn’t mean agreeing or setting aside your goals. It does, however, mean listening to understand in an open way, and why it is important to them before you offer your thoughts. Alan Alda, an advocate on the use of improvisation to build empathy writes in his book, Never Have Your Dog Stuffed, “Real listening is a willingness to let the other person change you.” Empathetic communication helps you develop authentic connections and fully engage as a leader.

 

2. Authenticity and Trust

Being a kind leader requires authenticity. Authentic leadership involves being self-aware, transparent about your decisions, thoughtful and open to feedback, and driven by purpose. A 2021 study found that authentic leaders positively increased employees’ creativity, attitude, and individual performance because they reinforce workers’ emotional connection with their organization. Authenticity requires building trust and having clear communication, especially around work expectations and goals. This means being transparent about your vision and needs, as well as your leadership style and personal drivers.

 

An authentic leader celebrates the growth and success of their team, which increases their productivity but can also have difficult conversations when needed. It is not helpful to keep from someone that they are not meeting expectations; trust in your employees' ability to grow and receive feedback. In turn, foster a culture of feedback and trust where employees can come to you with their concerns. One can still make tough decisions and drive results as a kind leader; being kind is different from being nice. But it does mean communicating with compassion, empathy, and clarity during hard conversations. Teams with compassionate and understanding leaders are more likely to be successful and have higher morale.

 

Being a kind and authentic leader also means doing the work to make yourself whole by prioritizing self-care and the relationships that fulfill you, so you can be your best for your team.

3. Inclusiveness and Community

People working in teams with inclusive leaders are more likely to feel respected and valued, leading to higher levels of engagement and productivity. Inclusivity ensures that everyone on the team is able to contribute their ideas and opinions, fostering a community of collaboration and creativity. Being an inclusive leader means making sure everyone feels seen and heard, but also asking “Whose voice isn’t here that should be?” and making room at the table.

 

Google’s Project Aristotle conducted years of research on traits of effective teams. It found tht teams with leaders who fostered high levels of psychological safety performed best, where all members contributed equally as their authentic selves. Teams with leaders who are committed to creating a community of collaboration and trust are more likely to produce lasting and meaningful results.

 

Also, building community is what sustains us and helps fill our cup when we, as leaders, most need it.

Being a kind leader means building community wherever you go. It isn’t easy; it means practicing empathy every day, even with people with whom you don’t agree. Kind leadership is being inclusive and building others up around you. Kindness, empathy, and the ability to build inclusive communities are essential qualities of effective leaders because they foster a culture of collaboration, trust, and creativity, where teams feel respected, valued, and inspired to work together to make a positive impact.