Judging from casual conversations and media reports on loneliness, it appears that many assume loneliness is primarily a problem in individualistic cultures. By contrast, people in collectivistic cultures are seen as less lonely, or even not lonely at all.

Indeed, members of individualistic cultures tend to be more independent from each other and spend more time alone than members of collectivistic cultures, which could suggest that they feel lonelier. Yet, in reality, studies tend to find very small differences in feelings of loneliness between more individualistic and more collectivistic cultures—and some actually report higher loneliness in more collectivistic cultures, compared to individualistic ones.^1,2

Puzzling? Yes, if we assume that people only feel lonely if they are socially isolated. But no, if we understand that loneliness can have numerous different causes, such as not fitting in with others, not feeling understood in one’s closest relationships, or being sensitive to separation.

What do “individualistic” and “collectivistic” mean?

There are countless differences in the norms, beliefs, values, and practices of different groups, and these cultural differences can be summarized using various dimensions, one of which is individualism-collectivism.

Theorizing about these kinds of cultural differences is sometimes met with reservations because it may be perceived as supporting stereotypes. Indeed, differences between people within cultures tend to be much larger than between cultures, and summarising various cultural characteristics into the sole dimension of individualism-collectivism has been criticised by some as too imprecise. Nevertheless, we can observe different average tendencies in different cultural groups, and these can suggest which cultures we can learn from when, for example, trying to reduce loneliness.

In more collectivistic cultures, group belonging and family bonds are, on average, more relevant, and people are more likely to take their families’ aims and values into account when making decisions. In more individualistic cultures, people are, on average, more independent from each other and make more decisions based on their own aims and values.³

In practice, this also means that people in more individualistic cultures are more likely to live alone, to have less contact with their families, to remain unmarried, and to divorce. On average, people in more individualistic cultures are, then, more socially isolated than people in more collectivistic cultures—and this can indeed increase their risk for loneliness.

However, more collectivistic cultures may increase different risks for loneliness.¹ These include the following:

1. Sensitivity to being alone. Irrespective of the culture you’re from, you likely recognize that a lot of people need to get used to being alone again after having been in company. When we conducted interviews about loneliness in India, Egypt, Israel, Bulgaria, and Austria, people from all cultural contexts reported feeling particularly lonely directly after separations. Examples our interview subjects gave included working as a freelancer (Egypt), staying behind while other family members went on holiday (India), moving abroad for work (Egypt), when a romantic relationship did not work out (Austria), staying at home with a newborn child (Israel), or returning from a group trip (Israel).

In cultures where people are less used to being alone, then, the solitude that people across all cultures experience after separation may trigger even stronger loneliness.⁴

Additionally, family relationships and support, time spent in company, and relations with the community may be perceived as more relevant in more collectivistic than more individualistic cultures. This may make troubled family relationships or solitude feel particularly uncomfortable and severe, thus resulting in more loneliness.^2,5

2. Strict social norms. Another loneliness risk that may be more common in more collectivistic cultures is not fitting in with social norms—that is, with unwritten rules about what should be done or what most people do. Social norms tell us which appearance, interests, behavior, relationships etc. members of a group “should” have. People who remain single in a culture where it is normal to get married, for example, are deviating from a social norm.

Not adhering to what is seen as “normal” can in turn lead to feeling misunderstood, (perceived) social rejection, stigmatisation, or lower self-worth. All of these are risk factors for loneliness.⁶

Groups, and particularly families, play a more central role in more collectivistic cultures than in more individualistic ones. Adhering to certain social norms tends to be considered more important, and social sanctions for not adhering to norms are often more severe.⁷Indeed, groups have been essential for individual safety and well-being throughout human history, but they can only survive if individuals subordinate some of their own preferences to those of the group.

It’s only in recent times that individuals have been able to rely on abstract legal and social systems, which arguably allowed for individualism to develop in the first place. Accordingly, in more collectivistic cultures, not adhering to social norms tends to be met with more severe sanctions, such as exclusion from one’s community. By contrast, in more individualistic cultures, milder sanctions such as gossip seem more common.⁸

Additionally, the range of what is socially acceptable is often narrower in more collectivistic cultures. The normative life path in collectivistic cultures with traditional family values may be to get married to a partner of the opposite gender with sociodemographic characteristics (e.g., income, religion, family background) that are viewed as desirable by the family, to have children, and to live with or close to the husband’s parents.

Not getting married or not having children can certainly exclude people in individualistic cultures as well. But it is usually accepted and, in some groups, even normative. As such, the risk of feeling lonely for not fitting in with social norms may, on average, be lower.

3. Being trapped in emotionally unfulfilling relationships. A third risk that may be more common in collectivistic cultures is being trapped in relationships that lack closeness and support.

People in more collectivistic cultures are often less free to choose their own social relationships.⁹ Consequently, people who have poor family relationships or who are unhappy in their marriage may not have the option of seeking others whom they feel more understood or supported by. It also tends to be more difficult for them to distance themselves from family or get divorced, and the disharmonies or lack of understanding can then trigger loneliness.

For example, one of my interview participants in an Indian village reported not feeling supported by her husband or her in-laws, whom she lived with. Divorce was not an option. On top of that, she could not talk about her situation with friends, as this would reflect negatively on the family.⁴

Clearly, people in more individualistic cultures can also lack supportive or understanding relationships. Indeed, most if not all risks for loneliness occur in both more individualistic and more collectivistic cultures. What differs, however, is how often people feel lonely for those reasons, and people may more often get trapped in unfulfilling relationships in more collectivistic cultures.

In Sum

If you have already read the first two posts in this series, you may notice that most misunderstandings about loneliness result from one misconception: that loneliness and social isolation are the same. It’s true that individualism may increase the risk for loneliness through more social isolation. However, collectivism may increase different risk factors for loneliness: sensitivity to being alone, not fitting in with cultural expectations, or being stuck in emotionally unfulfilling relationships. In practice, different cultural contexts may thus call for different interventions against loneliness—namely, interventions that address the most common loneliness risks.