As a sex therapist, the topic of porn comes up frequently in my therapy room. People wonder if they watch too much, if they watch the “wrong” stuff, and if it’s bad for their sex lives. For the most part, the first two questions become largely discussions about personal morals and self-criticism. I often suggest they read the book A Billion Wicked Thoughts by Ogas and Gadam, which offers a fascinating perspective on the wide variety and sometimes surprising preferences of American porn viewers—it’s interesting and amusing, and probably my favorite sexuality book. But let’s explore the third question here.

 

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Sexual Concerns Have Been Around a Lot Longer Than Porn

Sexual concerns are common, and rates have been stable over the past 25 years—statistics that pre-date porn’s arrival on the web. Approximately 30 percent of men report struggling with a sexual concern or dysfunction in a given year, and the numbers are higher for women. In addition, porn is a popular pastime. A recent analysis found that the top three English-speaking porn sites ranked higher in U.S. web traffic than all non-pornographic sites expect Amazon and Yahoo. So, to sum up, sexual dysfunction has been around a lot longer than online porn. Yet, lots of folks watch porn, and lots of folks report a sexual dysfunction. Inevitably, there’s going to be an overlap. What does this mean?

I’ve looked to some of the leading sexual medicine researchers in the world to understand this. I’ve taken their continuing education classes and read their research. First, it’s important to note that while women watch porn, few women experience their porn-watching as concerning or detrimental for their sex life. Thus, researchers have focused more on men’s experience with porn.

The bottom line seems to be: this issue is complex. If research isn’t taking this complexity into account, the results aren’t as useful, logical, and realistic as they may sound. Just as in politics, we must beware of fake research news. Not all research—even published research—considers important methodological issues, such as a lack of control group (nothing to compare our “dysfunctional” group to), and a lack of standardized assessment (we are relying on people’s self-report, which is inherently inaccurate—particularly around issues that people feel shame about, such as sex). As a result, much of the research cited on the web suggesting that porn is bad for your sex life is not accurate.

Sexual Dysfunction May Inspire Porn Use

But solid research does exist and it suggests there’s often a chicken and egg issue. Rather than porn use leading to sexual dysfunction, it’s frequently the other way around. Men with sexual dysfunction tend to masturbate more because partnered sex can feel tricky. And many people find the most efficient way to masturbate is via porn. Research consistently suggests that men with sexual dysfunctions struggle with anxiety, including sexual performance anxiety, and they have poorer genital self-image. They also report more medical problems, such as obesity and diabetes, than men without sexual dysfunction.

Relatedly, men with sexual dysfunctions may be more apt to report relationship issues. For example, if their partner isn’t sexually engaged, sex can be boring or even emotionally uncomfortable. Similarly, if they don’t experience their partner as sexually attractive, it can be difficult to respond sexually. But men may also attribute their sexual dysfunction to relationship issues when unaware of other relevant complications—such as medical problems that impact erection.

What is consistent for men with all of these issues is that many find masturbation simpler and easier. With masturbation, people have more control over their orgasm so they can come more efficiently. Plus, they avoid the more painful embarrassment of erectile dysfunction or delayed ejaculation in front of a partner. This may be the most important takeaway from this post. For many men, sexual dysfunction results in more porn use because of increased reliance on masturbation. In this case, porn becomes an innocent bystander, blamed for any number of preexisting sexual challenges.

Finally, research demonstrates that men and women who use porn more tend to report less sexual dysfunction than less frequent porn users. If porn caused sexual dysfunction, we wouldn’t see these trends.

The Potential Neurophysiological Impact of Adolescent Porn Use

It’s important to note that some people find their porn use distressing and destructive. Porn isn’t a universally positive or even benign force in the world. The same researchers cited above published fMRI studies demonstrating that a small subset of porn consumers demonstrate a neurophysiological hyper-reaction to porn, potentially supporting the biological definition of porn addiction for a minority of concerned porn consumers. Further, some researchers worry about the potential negative impact of porn on adolescents’ understanding of intimacy, as without a fully developed frontal cortex, which develops fully around the age of 24. Young adults are less prepared to comprehend and emotionally metabolize pornography.

Some adolescents repeatedly exposed to porn before their frontal cortex is fully developed may be more vulnerable to compulsion issues as they age. Further, as traditional porn is subsumed by the more intense VR porn, this issue may become more concerning in the future.

Not Everyone Who Over-Uses Porn Has a Sexual Dysfunction

Of course, some people who over-use porn do not have a sexual dysfunction. They may have a higher-than-average libido, don’t have access to a sex partner, or use porn to cope with depression or stress. Some people are morally opposed to porn and thus judge any amount of porn use as over-use.

Few things can be considered all good or all bad, and porn is no exception. Most porn users feel that porn either benefits them or doesn’t hurt them. But if you feel challenged by your porn use, you certainly aren’t alone. Sex therapy and sexual medicine may help you clarify and resolve your challenges.