In a previous post, I proposed that well-being comes from feeling connected to or one with the here-and-now, people, and the world, while being unwell comes from feeling disconnected or isolated from these three dimensions of life. I also suggested that cultivating well-being involves identifying what promotes or impedes feeling connected for each of us across these dimensions. In this post, I focus on a major impediment to feeling connected to the here-and-now, and how it can be addressed.

Lost in Thought

One of the primary hindrances to feeling present is being caught up in involuntary thinking. It is common to experience a stream of mental words or images that pop into our heads automatically, repetitively, and without our full awareness. Research suggests that most of us experience mind wandering (when our thoughts shift away from the activity we're engaged in) in as much as 50% of our waking lives (Barnett & Kaufman, 2020).

The experience of being caught up in involuntary thinking involves a narrowing or splitting of our awareness of the here-and now. When doing something that demands little attention, such as walking, we may find that our awareness is drawn into or wrapped up in the content of our thoughts, such that we are largely unaware of the rest of our immediate sensory experience (e.g., our bodily sensations or the surrounding environment). This could be called being lost in thought.

In situations that demand more attention, like social interactions or watching TV, a stream of thoughts may occur in the background of our minds, inhabiting part of our mental space and periodically distracting or pulling our attention away from the activity we’re engaged in. Jon Kabat-Zinn, the creator of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, asserts, “Much of the time our mind is more in the past or the future than it is in the present… As a consequence, in any moment we may only be partially aware of what is actually occurring in the present. We can miss many of our moments because we are not fully here for them” (Kabat-Zinn, 2009).

Views of involuntary thinking as problematic are widespread. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), which is used by mental health professionals to diagnose mental health conditions, “'Thinking too much' is a common idiom of distress and cultural explanation across many countries and ethnic groups. It has been described in Africa, the Caribbean, and Latin America, and among East Asian and Native American groups” (American Psychiatric Association, 2013).

It is important to clarify that the presence of automatic thoughts itself does not necessarily disconnect us from the here-and-now. We can feel present while thoughts flow through our mental space, as well as when actively engaged in thinking or the exchange of thoughts in conversation. We rely on our ability to think to connect with others (through communication), as well as for other important functions in navigating life (e.g., planning, problem-solving). However, it is when we are unaware of or caught up in these thoughts, when they narrow or divide our awareness by distracting or pulling our attention into their contents, that we are taken away from the rest of our sensory experience of the here-and-now.

Fused with Thoughts

The common experience of getting caught in thought is fueled by our tendency to unconsciously assume that thought content is “real” (completely accurate or true). In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), mistaking thoughts to be real is called cognitive fusion (Hayes, 2005). Cognitive fusion refers to “the relationship a person has with his or her own cognitive events, on a continuum from fused (dominated by, entangled, believed, taken literally) to defused (experienced as mental events and not necessarily needing to be acted upon)” (Gillanders et al., 2014).

A similar perspective is reflected in the Buddhist idea of prapañca, commonly translated from Sanskrit to mean conceptual proliferation. This idea signifies “the habit of buying into our thoughts, believing in them[,] creating images of past and future, and going off and inhabiting them." In Buddhist philosophy, conceptual proliferation is part of the psychological process that results in mental distress or suffering (Amaro, 2021).

The significance of cognitive fusion as an impediment to being present is similarly described by German-born spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle (1999), who emphasizes the problematic nature of identification with the mind, or deriving "your sense of self from the content and activity of your mind." He explained, “To be identified with your mind is to be trapped in time: the compulsion to live almost exclusively through memory and anticipation. This creates an endless preoccupation with past and future and an unwillingness to honor and acknowledge the present moment and allow it to be."

Thoughts are mental representations of our sensory-perceptual experience, not the experience itself. Their content is imaginary. As mental representations, they are also prone to simplify, generalize, skew based on existing beliefs and preferences, or in some other way bias how we perceive and understand our experiences. The various ways our thought patterns commonly misrepresent our actual experience are known in cognitive behavioral therapy as cognitive distortions.

When we unquestionably believe or buy into our thoughts, their content seems significant. We then are unwittingly giving importance and attention to them over the rest of our experience of the here-and-now. When cognitively fused, we are valuing the imaginary over the real.

It is notable that cognitive fusion tends to be pronounced when in painful or unsettling emotional states, such as fear, anger, frustration, or ambivalence. Thoughts activated or accompanied by these feelings can seem more legitimate, important, or urgent. (This is a related topic, but beyond the scope of this post).

Detaching from Compulsive Thinking

We can become less caught in thought by learning to notice and disengage from automatic thinking. When engaged in some activity and experiencing distracting thoughts, we can take a moment to observe our state of mind, recognize the pull of our thoughts, let the thoughts be there, and reengage in whatever it is we’re doing. In the words of Taiwanese Buddhist monk Master Sheng Yen, “Plunge your whole life into what you are doing… By [doing so], you are also being relieved from doing anything else at that moment. Therefore, when you are doing that one thing, that is all you have to care about” (Sheng Yen, 2008).

Our ability to detach from compulsive thinking, and become less prone to getting caught up in it in the first place, can also be cultivated through the meditative practice of resting in awareness. In this meditation, we let go of all intention and sit at rest in awareness. When our mind wanders into thoughts, we see it, let the thoughts be there, and relax our attention back to the broader space of our awareness of the here-and-now.

It is essential to approach this practice with openness and acceptance. This means giving up any desire to control, resist, or suppress the activity of our minds. As English spiritual teacher Rupert Spira suggests, “It is not necessary to change or manipulate experience in any way in order to notice the background of simply being aware" (2017).

By reorienting our interest and attention from the imaginary (thought content) to engaging in life and awareness itself, we can learn to more fluidly connect with the here-and-now.