Over cheesesteaks at the Philadelphia Convention Center and the vibrant Reading Terminal Market, Craig Wynne and I dove deep into the world of singles studies. The atmosphere was thick with enthusiasm, and one topic particularly resonated with both of us: the idea of a safe space for singles.

Craig shared with me his comfort in singles-friendly zones, especially Bella DePaulo’s groundbreaking initiative, the Community of Single People (CoSP), which she established in 2015 as such a safe zone. He recalled an event he attended that seemed largely tailored for families and couples.

Even though Craig appreciates the presence of children, as a childfree by choice person, he couldn’t help but feel somewhat adrift. This sensation subsided when a fellow childfree colleague joined and bonded over shared creative pursuits.

Craig then segued into his recent endeavor, a meetup he established in the Washington, DC area exclusively for child-free singles. Though he had initially been a part of a larger group, he sensed a need for a distinct space for singles, observing that couples sometimes unintentionally overshadowed them. I nodded in agreement, understanding the nuances and implications of such scenarios.

Our discussion turned to the concept of safe spaces. Originating mostly from LGBTQ+ activists, the idea now spans various marginalized communities. Yet, this discussion frequently overlooks an aspect: marital and relationship status.

This led us back to CoSP. Here, singles find solace in discussing topics unrelated to dating. As its ethos clearly states, "This group has nothing to do with dating."

The CoSP Facebook group opens its arms to various singlehood-centric concerns:

• The frustrating "singles supplements" during travels.
• Experiencing the chill of being "frozen out" by newly-married friends.
• Subtle microaggressions from friends or family.
• Misunderstood intentions of being single.

Celebrating the joys of solo adventures without the shadow of romantic relationships. At CoSP, singles can proudly share their happiness without the fear of counterpoints like, "But you haven’t experienced love." The group even has allies among the coupled, who champion the single life.

But the challenges singles face aren’t just social. Craig and I acknowledged structural inequalities. For instance:

• Legal complications around bequeathing benefits.
• Joint tax-filing privileges exclusive to married couples.
• Discounts aimed squarely at couples.

With marital rates on the decline, there's a growing mismatch between societal structures and evolving preferences. In essence, as Craig and I discovered over our three-hour chat, while the journey has begun, there's much more ground to cover in championing the cause of singles worldwide.

The Need for Safe Spaces for Singles

There seems to be an urgent need to discuss safe spaces for singles in a world where the pressures of society, media, and sometimes even close ones, can make single individuals feel marginalized or less valued. This is, of course, without challenging or competing with other groups’ need for safe spaces, sometimes even a more urgent need.

These spaces are simply essential havens where singles, regardless of their age, can connect, share their experiences, voice their concerns, and feel validated and supported without the stigma or pressure of being in a relationship. They serve as refuges from the incessant bombardment of couple-centric narratives, allowing singles to find joy and purpose in their own journeys.

While being in a relationship or marriage has its own merits and challenges, the state of being single offers its unique set of experiences, opportunities, and challenges. Some people choose to remain single for personal, professional, or spiritual reasons, while others might be on a path of self-discovery, healing from past relationships, or just waiting for the right partner.

Whatever the reason, these individuals deserve spaces where they are not merely defined by their relationship status. In these safe zones, they can discuss issues ranging from solo travel and managing finances alone to deeper concerns about loneliness or societal judgment.

Safe Spaces for Singles: Seven Rules

Creating such environments is both an art and a responsibility. Here are seven rules for creating safe spaces for singles:

1. No Judgment Allowed: Ensure that every individual feels valued regardless of their relationship status or reasons for being single.
2. Promote Inclusivity: Welcome singles from all backgrounds, ages, orientations, and experiences.
3. Set Boundaries: Ensure that discussions and interactions remain respectful. This includes no unsolicited matchmaking or dating advice.
4. Avoid Stereotyping: Break away from the typical labels or clichés associated with being single, such as being "lonely" or "incomplete."
5. Celebrate Individual Achievements: Encourage and celebrate personal accomplishments that aren't tied to relationship milestones.
6. Provide Resources: Offer access to resources that cater specifically to the unique needs and interests of singles, whether it's books, workshops, or networking events.
7. Facilitate Community Building: Encourage singles to forge connections, support one another, and possibly collaborate on mutual interests or projects.

As with any other safe space, creating a sanctuary for singles isn't about isolating them but about giving them the room to breathe, grow, and find solidarity in shared experiences. It's about recognizing the worth and richness of every individual's journey, irrespective of their relationship status. And as more people opt for singlehood, it’s going to be crucial that we do this.