Let Go of What Is Weighing You Down.
Are you lugging around a needless burden?
Reviewed by Vanessa Lancaster
KEY POINTS-
Besides taking action in the outer world, we can act inside our minds and take the benefits wherever we go.
It is stressful and harmful to get sucked into repetitive preoccupations.
As you shed unnecessary burdens, we feel the lightness that comes, the room in your heart for good things.
For many people, it’s natural to consider how to improve life. Besides taking action in the outer world – from fixing a dripping faucet to feeding every child – we can act inside our minds and take the benefits wherever we go. What are the top four things you can do to be happier, stronger, wiser, and more loving? Here are a few suggestions:
Let go of what is weighing you down
Let it flow
Learn as you go
Be amazed
So, what do I mean by “Let go of what is weighing you down?”
Most of us are lugging around at least one needless burden, such as holding on to resentments, worrying over and over about the same thing, or trying to make someone love you who won’t. It’s like a load on your back, a weight in your hands, that you really don’t have to carry each day.
Perhaps it’s an unrealistic standard you keep failing to meet, an old quarrel you keep rehashing, or something addictive you can’t do in moderation, so you’re always thinking about it. Or maybe it’s an old shame, disappointment, or loss. Or perhaps a chronic tension in your body or armor around your heart. Or a rigid belief or righteous indignation.
I’m not suggesting we turn away from pain, stop caring about others, or avoid ambitious goals. It's healthy to allow sadness, hurt, or worry to flow through your mind, and good to keep faith with yourself, bet on yourself, and dream big dreams.
But it's stressful and harmful to get sucked into repetitive preoccupations, to keep looping multiple times around the same track. I heard that the great Tibetan teacher, Tsoknye Rinpoche, had once said essentially: “Thinking the same thought again is OK – but ten is enough!"
In your brain, negative preoccupations tend to engage the “default mode network” centered in the back half of the midline cortex. As this network evolved over millions of years, our ancestors used it as a simulator to review past actions, imagine future possibilities, and thus learn from their mistakes and make good plans. But when the simulator uses you, it’s more like a “ruminator” in which you are trapped, feeling bad, and reinforcing negative neural circuits.
Instead, it’s OK to step out of the movie inside and OK to drop the load.
The Practice.
Pick one “stone” you’d like to drop (and you can repeat this process with other things if you like). First, decide for yourself what, if anything, is reasonable or useful about it. Know in your heart what is worth taking into account and what is just needless worthless excess suffering. Know that you are and can be a good person without pouring rocks on your head.
Second, deliberately “carry” that stone for a few seconds or longer – think about it, worry about it, get sad or mad about it – so you can really know what that feels like.
Third, try to be aware of when that particular weight returns. Regular mindfulness practice can help. Building up the trait of steady present-moment awareness is like strengthening what’s called a “strange attractor” in complex systems theory. This kind of attractor is like a planet inside your mind whose gravitational force pulls you naturally in a good direction. The greater your trait mindfulness is, the more you’ll stay grounded in it, and the faster you’ll return to it if you get distracted.
Fourth, resolve to yourself to stop picking up the stone. Determine to disengage from it, stop allying with it, and get hijacked by it. It may keep mumbling away in the background, but at least you can stop adding to its weight.
Be strong inside your mind. In the same way, you could step back from someone being harmful. You can step back from old habit patterns. It’s OK to build muscularity inside, with a sense of healthy entitlement to reasonable well-being: “No, I don't have to keep listening to and agreeing with that voice inside my head!”
Shift your attention to other things, ideally, those that are the opposite in some way of the “stone.” For example, forgive yourself for old shame, turn toward healthy pleasures and away from unhealthy ones, or see the big picture of everything that’s working if you’ve gotten preoccupied with something that’s not. With repetition, these new objects of attention will grow like “attractors” where you increasingly dwell.
Last, let yourself feel and know that this life is precious and short – even if it lasts a hundred years. In the long run, what will those stones matter? Imagine what it will feel like to lay your stones down. Tell yourself it’s OK to do this. Tell other people it’s OK to lay down their stones.
As you shed your stones, feel the lightness that comes, the room in your heart for good things, like growing flowers of inner peace, self-worth, ease, inner freedom, an unburdened and undivided mind, and love.
Are you lugging around a needless burden?
Reviewed by Vanessa Lancaster
KEY POINTS-
Besides taking action in the outer world, we can act inside our minds and take the benefits wherever we go.
It is stressful and harmful to get sucked into repetitive preoccupations.
As you shed unnecessary burdens, we feel the lightness that comes, the room in your heart for good things.
For many people, it’s natural to consider how to improve life. Besides taking action in the outer world – from fixing a dripping faucet to feeding every child – we can act inside our minds and take the benefits wherever we go. What are the top four things you can do to be happier, stronger, wiser, and more loving? Here are a few suggestions:
Let go of what is weighing you down
Let it flow
Learn as you go
Be amazed
So, what do I mean by “Let go of what is weighing you down?”
Most of us are lugging around at least one needless burden, such as holding on to resentments, worrying over and over about the same thing, or trying to make someone love you who won’t. It’s like a load on your back, a weight in your hands, that you really don’t have to carry each day.
Perhaps it’s an unrealistic standard you keep failing to meet, an old quarrel you keep rehashing, or something addictive you can’t do in moderation, so you’re always thinking about it. Or maybe it’s an old shame, disappointment, or loss. Or perhaps a chronic tension in your body or armor around your heart. Or a rigid belief or righteous indignation.
I’m not suggesting we turn away from pain, stop caring about others, or avoid ambitious goals. It's healthy to allow sadness, hurt, or worry to flow through your mind, and good to keep faith with yourself, bet on yourself, and dream big dreams.
But it's stressful and harmful to get sucked into repetitive preoccupations, to keep looping multiple times around the same track. I heard that the great Tibetan teacher, Tsoknye Rinpoche, had once said essentially: “Thinking the same thought again is OK – but ten is enough!"
In your brain, negative preoccupations tend to engage the “default mode network” centered in the back half of the midline cortex. As this network evolved over millions of years, our ancestors used it as a simulator to review past actions, imagine future possibilities, and thus learn from their mistakes and make good plans. But when the simulator uses you, it’s more like a “ruminator” in which you are trapped, feeling bad, and reinforcing negative neural circuits.
Instead, it’s OK to step out of the movie inside and OK to drop the load.
The Practice.
Pick one “stone” you’d like to drop (and you can repeat this process with other things if you like). First, decide for yourself what, if anything, is reasonable or useful about it. Know in your heart what is worth taking into account and what is just needless worthless excess suffering. Know that you are and can be a good person without pouring rocks on your head.
Second, deliberately “carry” that stone for a few seconds or longer – think about it, worry about it, get sad or mad about it – so you can really know what that feels like.
Third, try to be aware of when that particular weight returns. Regular mindfulness practice can help. Building up the trait of steady present-moment awareness is like strengthening what’s called a “strange attractor” in complex systems theory. This kind of attractor is like a planet inside your mind whose gravitational force pulls you naturally in a good direction. The greater your trait mindfulness is, the more you’ll stay grounded in it, and the faster you’ll return to it if you get distracted.
Fourth, resolve to yourself to stop picking up the stone. Determine to disengage from it, stop allying with it, and get hijacked by it. It may keep mumbling away in the background, but at least you can stop adding to its weight.
Be strong inside your mind. In the same way, you could step back from someone being harmful. You can step back from old habit patterns. It’s OK to build muscularity inside, with a sense of healthy entitlement to reasonable well-being: “No, I don't have to keep listening to and agreeing with that voice inside my head!”
Shift your attention to other things, ideally, those that are the opposite in some way of the “stone.” For example, forgive yourself for old shame, turn toward healthy pleasures and away from unhealthy ones, or see the big picture of everything that’s working if you’ve gotten preoccupied with something that’s not. With repetition, these new objects of attention will grow like “attractors” where you increasingly dwell.
Last, let yourself feel and know that this life is precious and short – even if it lasts a hundred years. In the long run, what will those stones matter? Imagine what it will feel like to lay your stones down. Tell yourself it’s OK to do this. Tell other people it’s OK to lay down their stones.
As you shed your stones, feel the lightness that comes, the room in your heart for good things, like growing flowers of inner peace, self-worth, ease, inner freedom, an unburdened and undivided mind, and love.
Let Go of What Is Weighing You Down.
Are you lugging around a needless burden?
Reviewed by Vanessa Lancaster
KEY POINTS-
Besides taking action in the outer world, we can act inside our minds and take the benefits wherever we go.
It is stressful and harmful to get sucked into repetitive preoccupations.
As you shed unnecessary burdens, we feel the lightness that comes, the room in your heart for good things.
For many people, it’s natural to consider how to improve life. Besides taking action in the outer world – from fixing a dripping faucet to feeding every child – we can act inside our minds and take the benefits wherever we go. What are the top four things you can do to be happier, stronger, wiser, and more loving? Here are a few suggestions:
Let go of what is weighing you down
Let it flow
Learn as you go
Be amazed
So, what do I mean by “Let go of what is weighing you down?”
Most of us are lugging around at least one needless burden, such as holding on to resentments, worrying over and over about the same thing, or trying to make someone love you who won’t. It’s like a load on your back, a weight in your hands, that you really don’t have to carry each day.
Perhaps it’s an unrealistic standard you keep failing to meet, an old quarrel you keep rehashing, or something addictive you can’t do in moderation, so you’re always thinking about it. Or maybe it’s an old shame, disappointment, or loss. Or perhaps a chronic tension in your body or armor around your heart. Or a rigid belief or righteous indignation.
I’m not suggesting we turn away from pain, stop caring about others, or avoid ambitious goals. It's healthy to allow sadness, hurt, or worry to flow through your mind, and good to keep faith with yourself, bet on yourself, and dream big dreams.
But it's stressful and harmful to get sucked into repetitive preoccupations, to keep looping multiple times around the same track. I heard that the great Tibetan teacher, Tsoknye Rinpoche, had once said essentially: “Thinking the same thought again is OK – but ten is enough!"
In your brain, negative preoccupations tend to engage the “default mode network” centered in the back half of the midline cortex. As this network evolved over millions of years, our ancestors used it as a simulator to review past actions, imagine future possibilities, and thus learn from their mistakes and make good plans. But when the simulator uses you, it’s more like a “ruminator” in which you are trapped, feeling bad, and reinforcing negative neural circuits.
Instead, it’s OK to step out of the movie inside and OK to drop the load.
The Practice.
Pick one “stone” you’d like to drop (and you can repeat this process with other things if you like). First, decide for yourself what, if anything, is reasonable or useful about it. Know in your heart what is worth taking into account and what is just needless worthless excess suffering. Know that you are and can be a good person without pouring rocks on your head.
Second, deliberately “carry” that stone for a few seconds or longer – think about it, worry about it, get sad or mad about it – so you can really know what that feels like.
Third, try to be aware of when that particular weight returns. Regular mindfulness practice can help. Building up the trait of steady present-moment awareness is like strengthening what’s called a “strange attractor” in complex systems theory. This kind of attractor is like a planet inside your mind whose gravitational force pulls you naturally in a good direction. The greater your trait mindfulness is, the more you’ll stay grounded in it, and the faster you’ll return to it if you get distracted.
Fourth, resolve to yourself to stop picking up the stone. Determine to disengage from it, stop allying with it, and get hijacked by it. It may keep mumbling away in the background, but at least you can stop adding to its weight.
Be strong inside your mind. In the same way, you could step back from someone being harmful. You can step back from old habit patterns. It’s OK to build muscularity inside, with a sense of healthy entitlement to reasonable well-being: “No, I don't have to keep listening to and agreeing with that voice inside my head!”
Shift your attention to other things, ideally, those that are the opposite in some way of the “stone.” For example, forgive yourself for old shame, turn toward healthy pleasures and away from unhealthy ones, or see the big picture of everything that’s working if you’ve gotten preoccupied with something that’s not. With repetition, these new objects of attention will grow like “attractors” where you increasingly dwell.
Last, let yourself feel and know that this life is precious and short – even if it lasts a hundred years. In the long run, what will those stones matter? Imagine what it will feel like to lay your stones down. Tell yourself it’s OK to do this. Tell other people it’s OK to lay down their stones.
As you shed your stones, feel the lightness that comes, the room in your heart for good things, like growing flowers of inner peace, self-worth, ease, inner freedom, an unburdened and undivided mind, and love.
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