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ANGER-
An Antidote to Anger.
Ice, ice baby.
Reviewed by Michelle Quirk

KEY POINTS-
A 3-step process can help us to somatically, cognitively, and creatively navigate anger and intense emotions.
Anger can be mindfully held, named, explored, and expressed so that it does not become debilitating or damaging to others.
Affect labeling assists with emotional regulation by acknowledging and validating our experience.

When our physical body is injured and inflamed, rest and ice are part of the standard healing protocol. When our emotions are inflamed and fiery, often, we are told to “cool it.” These words may be more useful than we think.

If feelings of anger and frustration become highly activated and we are not skilled in emotional regulation, we can become like molten lava that either erupts or oozes. Unaddressed emotional stockpiling can become explosive and, often, another person unintentionally gets burned. Other times, unprocessed emotions slowly suffocate joy, opportunity, and anything on a positive, peaceful path. Both of these scenarios can cause fissures in our mental health and our relationships.

So how do we regulate emotions before they reach a boiling point?

According to Dan Segal (1999), author of The Developing Mind, we all have a “window of tolerance” representing the range of emotional arousal that is tolerable. When we are within our individual window, our nervous systems are operating optimally. When we are outside our window of tolerance for stress and overwhelm, we may become either hyper- or hypo-aroused as evidenced by fight, flight, or freeze behavioral responses.

The next time you feel yourself climbing beyond your “window of tolerance,” I suggest you follow these three steps to quite literally, “cool off.” To further melt the heat of all-consuming thoughts and feelings, add intentional breathing with each step. Make each conscious exhale longer than the inhale. With regular practice, we can become more adept at handling all emotions, including anger.

To remember this formula, call in the 1990 Vanilla Ice song, ”Ice Ice Baby.” If you are too young to know this song, it’s worth Googling—it may even make you giggle, which will also mitigate the overload of any difficult experiences.

When anger strikes, head to your nearest freezer and grab some ice (or cold water if you do not have access to ice). While holding the ice in your hand, focus your awareness on the cube(s) as it melts. Ask yourself the following questions: What is the temperature? Texture? Sensation? Color? You may even lick it and see how it feels on your tongue. Engage as many senses as possible. This mindful practice will interrupt the immediate intensity of any situation. TikTok videos are now featuring vagus nerve icing of the face or body as a means for stress relief. Cold temperatures do, in fact, activate the vagus nerve and improve heart rate variability.

If you can identify the place in your body where the emotion seems stuck, place the ice there (gut, throat, etc). The intention with this practice is not to take away the emotion or replace it with something we deem “better.” Instead, the practice is to sit with it mindfully and soften the acute crisis so it is more manageable.

Step 2: “I Can Experience Emotion.”
Often, when we are upset, we judge our feelings and tell ourselves, “I can’t handle this.” But, the truth is, we can.

For this second step, identify, label, and allow your emotions by completing the "ICE" sentence, “I-C-E, I can experience…[fill in the blank]."

Affect labeling assists with emotional regulation by acknowledging and validating our experience. The naming process provides clarity and distance from the internal sensations and the habitual, reactionary responses. Using magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) of the brain, Matthew Lieberman and his colleagues (2007) found that affect labeling provided a calming effect on the emotional areas of the brain. With this labeling process, we can have the emotion and not become that emotion.

With my ICE protocol, it’s important to suspend judgment about the emotion. Catch your internal dialogue and reframe statements like, “I should not be feeling…” Instead, restate the ICE phrase, “I can experience…” The goal is to honor and allow all feelings, even rage. The ICE process gives you permission to own your feelings and not resist, deny, or suppress them.

Next, challenge yourself to gain access to the root emotions. Connect with the fear, hurt, inadequacy, shame, or sadness beneath the angry or anxious surface. Again, use the ICE statement to acknowledge these emotional states. For example, you may say to yourself, “I can experience shame.” Then, give the emotion a 10-point scale rating. “I can experience shame, and, right now, my shame is at a 7.” Continue tracking its intensity and imagine it melting as you breathe with intention.

Step 3: “I Can Express Emotion.”
After naming your emotional states, you can proceed to the second "ICE" statement in my “Ice, Ice Baby” formula. This I-C-E stands for “I can express emotion.” Explore ways to release the energy of the emotion so that it has a place to land outside of self...but not on someone else.

We all have a variety of tools available to us at any time to express emotion in healthy ways. I encourage individuals to find what works best for them. Once your ice has melted and you name your state of mind, you can practice expressing your feelings verbally, physically, or creatively. It is best to gather your toolbox and have it ready before emotions become overwhelming.

Here are a few things to have on hand:
Paper for journaling
Running shoes for a walk or run
Punching bag, jump rope
Paper to shred
Musical instruments to play
Open space and music to dance or shake
Lightweight balls to throw
Art supplies to paint, sculpt, or draw
A private place to let out a primal scream
A trusted friend or counselor to call
All emotions are energy in motion and, just like ice cubes outside of the freezer, they will dissolve with the right conditions. Emotional energy is not static; it wants to move. So, the next time you notice the heat rising beyond your window of tolerance, reach for "ICE, ICE Baby" and follow my steps to connect, allow, identify, and appropriately express your feelings.

STRESS-
The Power of the Breath to Ease Pain.
Breathing exercises can decrease stress and chronic pain.
Reviewed by Abigail Fagan

KEY POINTS-
Breathing exercises help to manage stress and chronic pain by relaxing muscles and the nervous system.
Breathing slowly and rhythmically, breathing through the nose, lengthening the exhale, and breathing from the belly can lessen tension and pain.
Don't wait for pain to increase to practice; breathing exercises are most effective if you initially practice them when pain is not severe.

Just breathe. Sound familiar? These two words are ubiquitous. Whether trying to decrease stress, anxiety, and muscle tension or increase our focus and centeredness, we are frequently encouraged to breathe.

There is a good reason for this, particularly when it comes to muscle tension and pain. Physical pain and emotional stress often go hand in hand. When we are stressed, our muscles tense, and this tension can increase the physical sensation of pain. Pain can also cause stress, increasing muscle tension and creating more pain. Also, it is common to hold our breath when we are stressed or in pain. I catch myself holding my breath all the time. Unfortunately, doing so increases pain and stress.

So, one helpful way to manage stress and chronic pain is to practice relaxing our muscles and nervous system via breathing exercises. These exercises may sound simple yet consistently practicing them can be easier said than done.

Many helpful breathing exercises exist, and I am going to outline some of my favorites. While it is true that there are times when it is beneficial to engage in longer relaxation exercises — If your muscles are particularly tense, it may take 15 to 20 minutes to feel a sense of relaxation — I am a fan of practicing brief exercises that you can quickly, and realistically, implement regularly.

1. Breathe Slowly and Rhythmically
Practice breathing in and out slowly. Imagine your breath is a wave in the ocean that is slowly coming into shore and then slowly receding back into the ocean. See if you can practice breathing slowly and steadily for about two to five minutes (or longer as helpful).

2. Breathe Through Your Nose
It can be helpful to practice breathing from your nose only. This helps us breathe more slowly, aiding stress relief and muscle relaxation. So, practice keeping your mouth closed and breathing in and out from your nose. Again, breathe slowly.

3. Lengthen the Exhale Portion of Your Breath
The exhale part of the breath is the most relaxing. The exhale is like a brake for our nervous system helping it slow down. Practice making the exhale portion of the breath longer than the inhale. For example, if you naturally inhale to a count of three, practice slowly exhaling to a count of five.

4. Breathe From Your Belly
Diaphragmatic or belly breathing tends to be the most relaxing type of breath. This is because when you breathe using your belly, you stimulate the vagus nerve which activates the relaxation response, reducing your heart rate and blood pressure and lowering stress. With belly breathing, you want to breathe deeply into your belly.

To practice, sit or lie down, and place one hand on your chest and the other hand on your belly. Slowly inhale through your nose, practicing keeping the hand on your chest still, and allowing the movement to come from your belly. When you inhale, your belly should rise as if you have a balloon in your belly that is filling with air, and when you slowly exhale, your belly should gently collapse as if the balloon is deflating.

If you are not familiar with belly breathing it can take practice. To start, you can sit in a chair and lean forward placing your elbows on your knees while breathing naturally and slowly. This position forces you to breathe from your belly so you can get to know what the sensation feels like.

Brief (Can Be) Best
Sometimes longer practice is most helpful. Yet, I am a fan of consistent, brief practice throughout the day. This may mean taking a few intentional breaths throughout your day or sitting and breathing for several minutes. One quick way to practice is to pause multiple times per day and take about three to five intentional breaths using one of the breathing styles from the exercises above.

Don’t Wait to Practice
It is important to not wait until tension and pain increase to practice these exercises. They will be most effective if you initially practice them when you are not in a lot of pain. This will help you to remember to use them and will make them more effective when your pain increases.

So, slow down and breathe on!